Review by kathy2705 -- Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a ...

[kathy2705]

[Following is a volunteer review of "Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life" by Lewis Kempfer.]

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4 out of 4 stars

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Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life by Lewis Kempfer

The effects of being sexually, verbally, and physically abused at a young age leads Kempfer to a painful life of drug abuse and sex addiction. The abuse from the male figures in his life almost condemn him to a life of constantly looking for love in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. His unstable foundations cause him to move from place to place where he not only experiments with drugs and sex, but with religion and spirituality. After many years of denial, a painful experience causes him to acknowledge that God had always been with him.

In his memoir, Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life, Lewis Kempfer details the events of his unbelievably twisted life. Feelings of insufficiency arise in him from a young age, where he notices how much he is different from other boys. These feeling of insufficiency are further fuelled by his father Dennis, who abuses him and takes away his innocence. The abuse causes him to be on a mad hunt for love in places like gay clubs, motels and private booths. Years after dropping out of College, he eventually manages to complete a bachelor’s degree that helps him secure a career at a place he always dreamt of working. But due self-hate and recklessness, self-destruction becomes his all-time companion.

Kempfer tells his story in a most honest and open way. His writing allows the reader to enter his mind and understand the cognitive dissonance that plays a major role in his path to self-destruction. One can relate to his dilemma because although as humans we know better, that does not necessarily mean that we do better. It takes a very brave person to recount their experiences and explicitly admit that they were stupid. Furthermore, Kempfer is bold enough to reveal his dirtiest and darkest actions, something most writers wouldn’t do.

The memoire highlights how the effects of child abuse can be permanent. Although Kempfer mostly focuses on his need for love and validation, he also notes how his mother’s need for love left him exposed and vulnerable to the hate and abuse of his father, stepfather and other men. She needed the love of a man even though it would jeopardise her son’s well-being, just as much as he became desperate for love from the people that did not love him. This shows how especially single parents can have a dilemma in balancing healthy relationships between their partner and their children. Had his mother prioritised his safety and acceptance in a brutal world maybe he would not have turned out to be such a wreck. It is encouraging that he never stopped believing that someone one up there- God was always on his side. Much like most of us do, he prays himself out of many hurdles that would have been his ultimate end.

What I liked is the blithesome manner the author chooses to write the story. The author presents the dire events in a way that does not make the reader want to close the book, but rather to read further. However, I disliked the exaggerated humour which I feel that often divert the attention of the reader amiss his intended point.

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, appeals to a large audience of readers. This book is for mature readers because it contains explicit language and descriptions of sexual scenes. However, I would not recommend this book to people suffering from any addictions, simply because the author does not focus on recovery, but rather on his narrow, almost incredulous escape.

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, is plainspoken with less of the novel technique, which makes it more like an exhaustive autobiography nevertheless I give this book 4 out of 4 stars. The book is well edited and the author managed to draw my attention in such a way that I could read the book in one go. I could sympathise with Kempfer and accompany him through his excruciating life journey.

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Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life
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[Gabrielle Sigaki]

I'm really into biographies and memoirs. It sounds interesting, Kempfer seems to had a really hard time. Abuse can have so many bad effects in a person's life. It's an impotant theme to talk about. Thanks for the wonderful review! Great job.

[Manang Muyang]

When I hear of such horror stories of children abused by their own guardians, I remember to thank God for my childhood. My family is by no means perfect, but I believe I turned out alright; my failings are all self-made. I am glad Kempfer found the light.

[Christabel Uzoamaka]

The title alone made me look twice. I’m glad that the author was able to be honest with himself about his tragic experiences and their effects on him.

Great review!

[Mutai Marshal]

I love memoirs. Indeed, as humans we tend to know better than do better. I enjoyed your detailed review

[AvidBibliophile]

I read this one too! Huge respect for the author for his open and authentic willingness to share his excruciating experiences and lessons learned. While it was certainly graphic at times, I appreciated the cold, hard truth behind it all. I’m glad you enjoyed it on a respectable level too!

[kathy2705]

I read this one too! Huge respect for the author for his open and authentic willingness to share his excruciating experiences and lessons learned. While it was certainly graphic at times, I appreciated the cold, hard truth behind it all. I’m glad you enjoyed it on a respectable level too!

I'm gad you enjoyed the book too! I really liked the fact the author was honest in such a way that only forces us to connect with the real him.

[kathy2705]

The title alone made me look twice. I’m glad that the author was able to be honest with himself about his tragic experiences and their effects on him.

Great review!

It will make a quick read, especially if you're into the no nonsense honesty kind of books.

[kathy2705]

When I hear of such horror stories of children abused by their own guardians, I remember to thank God for my childhood. My family is by no means perfect, but I believe I turned out alright; my failings are all self-made. I am glad Kempfer found the light.

I'm glad too. But life is a journey of a thousand miles, Kempfer's journey still continue!

[kathy2705]

I'm really into biographies and memoirs. It sounds interesting, Kempfer seems to had a really hard time. Abuse can have so many bad effects in a person's life. It's an impotant theme to talk about. Thanks for the wonderful review! Great job.

He did really have a hard time, but somehow he still came out in one piece. It's a must read.

[TCG]

Most addicts are products of abuse. Especially when such abuse is from childhood. I'll try this out.

[Justine Ocsebio]

I like how honest this story seems to be told. Kemper went through so much. It shows how abuse and trauma from a young age can be permanently damaging. Great job on the review!

[Diana Lowery]

I thought the title was very inspired. Your review was thoughtful, and I loved this sentence: "One can relate to his dilemma because although as humans we know better, that does not necessarily mean that we do better."

[Prisallen]

It is so sad that a child has to endure all that he had to go through. I think this book would depress me, reminding me of how bad some people have it. Thanks for an informative and interesting review!

[NDeMeer]

Wow, even from just the review I feel bad for the author. This sounds like an impactful memoir! Thank you for your insightful review.