Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
I don’t think I’ve fully unpacked how much the pandemic reshaped the way I see people—how guarded we became, how transactional some conversations started to feel, even outside work. There was this quiet panic running underneath so much of it, like everyone had retreated into scarcity mode, emotionally and otherwise. The Unfakeable Code® spoke directly to that shift in a way that caught me off guard. It’s not a pandemic book, exactly, but it does feel like a response to the psychological hangover left in its wake. Tony Jeton Selimi leans into the reality that when fear runs the show—whether in personal relationships, business negotiations, or even internal self-talk—we start operating from a deficit mindset. And we stop speaking from our truth because we’re too busy protecting what little security we think we have left.
What stood out to me is how clearly Tony shows that real, honest connection can only happen when you’re not playing defense. His idea of win-win conversations isn’t just about compromise—it’s about showing up without armor and trusting that authenticity won’t cost you more than pretending does. I kept thinking back to interactions I’ve had recently that felt off. Like when someone asked how I was and I gave some upbeat answer that wasn’t quite a lie, but wasn’t really true either. Those tiny moments where we perform instead of connect—that’s what this book digs into. I think Tony’s framework is most useful in those in-between spaces, where no one’s yelling or in crisis, but no one’s really being real either.
One thing I didn’t expect to resonate so much with me was how deeply Tony emphasized gratitude. Not as some performative “look on the bright side” nonsense, but as a stabilizing practice. I liked how deeply Tony emphasized gratitude as a practical tool, not just a “feel good” trick—it changed how I viewed difficult people and painful experiences. There’s a section where he talks about how you can choose to alchemize pain into learning through conscious gratitude. That stuck with me. I tried it the next time someone triggered me emotionally, and I found myself wondering, what’s this reaction trying to show me? What can I be thankful for here, even if it’s messy? It sounds so simple written down, but it genuinely felt like a shift.
Still, I’d be lying if I said all the exercises hit with the same clarity. I disliked that some of the gratitude exercises, while powerful, might feel repetitive if you already have a strong journaling or self-awareness practice. There were a few points where I caught myself skimming because I felt like I’d already done a version of what was being suggested. That’s not a huge problem—and I imagine for someone newer to this work, those prompts could feel brand new—but it’s something that stood out to me. Maybe spacing them out or layering them in with more variation could help keep the momentum strong through those parts.
What helped balance that, though, was how clearly Tony rooted these practices in bigger emotional patterns. His reflections on scarcity mindset post-COVID made me reevaluate how often I’ve operated from fear disguised as practicality. Delaying hard conversations. Shrinking my needs. Avoiding conflict by telling half-truths. All of it adds up. His communication approach, which hinges on truth over tactics, felt refreshing. And I don’t mean refreshing like a motivational quote—I mean something real enough to change how I want to show up in my relationships. Especially the ones where I think I have something to lose.
The Unfakeable Code® isn’t an easy read in the sense of it being breezy or comforting. It’s full of hard questions and self-examination, and sometimes it forces you to acknowledge how small you’ve let yourself become to feel safe. But it’s also hopeful in a very grounded way. It says: yes, fear shaped you. But you don’t have to keep choosing it. I think that’s what makes this book worth reading. I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars because even in the parts that didn’t land perfectly, it stayed honest. And in a world still twitching from the trauma of pretending, that honesty felt like something I didn’t know I needed.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
I don’t think I’ve fully unpacked how much the pandemic reshaped the way I see people—how guarded we became, how transactional some conversations started to feel, even outside work. There was this quiet panic running underneath so much of it, like everyone had retreated into scarcity mode, emotionally and otherwise. The Unfakeable Code® spoke directly to that shift in a way that caught me off guard. It’s not a pandemic book, exactly, but it does feel like a response to the psychological hangover left in its wake. Tony Jeton Selimi leans into the reality that when fear runs the show—whether in personal relationships, business negotiations, or even internal self-talk—we start operating from a deficit mindset. And we stop speaking from our truth because we’re too busy protecting what little security we think we have left.
What stood out to me is how clearly Tony shows that real, honest connection can only happen when you’re not playing defense. His idea of win-win conversations isn’t just about compromise—it’s about showing up without armor and trusting that authenticity won’t cost you more than pretending does. I kept thinking back to interactions I’ve had recently that felt off. Like when someone asked how I was and I gave some upbeat answer that wasn’t quite a lie, but wasn’t really true either. Those tiny moments where we perform instead of connect—that’s what this book digs into. I think Tony’s framework is most useful in those in-between spaces, where no one’s yelling or in crisis, but no one’s really being real either.
One thing I didn’t expect to resonate so much with me was how deeply Tony emphasized gratitude. Not as some performative “look on the bright side” nonsense, but as a stabilizing practice. I liked how deeply Tony emphasized gratitude as a practical tool, not just a “feel good” trick—it changed how I viewed difficult people and painful experiences. There’s a section where he talks about how you can choose to alchemize pain into learning through conscious gratitude. That stuck with me. I tried it the next time someone triggered me emotionally, and I found myself wondering, what’s this reaction trying to show me? What can I be thankful for here, even if it’s messy? It sounds so simple written down, but it genuinely felt like a shift.
Still, I’d be lying if I said all the exercises hit with the same clarity. I disliked that some of the gratitude exercises, while powerful, might feel repetitive if you already have a strong journaling or self-awareness practice. There were a few points where I caught myself skimming because I felt like I’d already done a version of what was being suggested. That’s not a huge problem—and I imagine for someone newer to this work, those prompts could feel brand new—but it’s something that stood out to me. Maybe spacing them out or layering them in with more variation could help keep the momentum strong through those parts.
What helped balance that, though, was how clearly Tony rooted these practices in bigger emotional patterns. His reflections on scarcity mindset post-COVID made me reevaluate how often I’ve operated from fear disguised as practicality. Delaying hard conversations. Shrinking my needs. Avoiding conflict by telling half-truths. All of it adds up. His communication approach, which hinges on truth over tactics, felt refreshing. And I don’t mean refreshing like a motivational quote—I mean something real enough to change how I want to show up in my relationships. Especially the ones where I think I have something to lose.
The Unfakeable Code® isn’t an easy read in the sense of it being breezy or comforting. It’s full of hard questions and self-examination, and sometimes it forces you to acknowledge how small you’ve let yourself become to feel safe. But it’s also hopeful in a very grounded way. It says: yes, fear shaped you. But you don’t have to keep choosing it. I think that’s what makes this book worth reading. I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars because even in the parts that didn’t land perfectly, it stayed honest. And in a world still twitching from the trauma of pretending, that honesty felt like something I didn’t know I needed.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
