Carly and Kane's friendship

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Howlan
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Re: Carly and Kane's friendship

Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 10:32
Jac-o-lantern wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 10:06 I do think Kane was in the wrong for just kissing her out of the blue, he should have talked to her about his feelings especially knowing she was in a relationship. However, I do think Carly shares some of the blame for leading him on. While her outfit did not matter in my opinion, her reluctance to make clear boundaries and show her discomfort with his actions lead him to believe he had a chance and her reaction of slapping him was too extreme she could have used her words. I understand both were afraid of ruining their friendship, but more communication should have been used.
I think you really worded this very well! I don't condone violence in this instance... the lines were blurred enough that I can understand why Kane felt like it was ok to kiss her, (but you are right, he could/should have told her about his wanting to kiss her) but I don't think Kane was being aggressive to the point that Carly felt the need to defend herself.
I think Carly did it more as a way of reflex than self-defence.
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Post by Howlan »

gayscott wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:09 :oops: Why would you invite a guy over, wear a more provocative top, and snuggle on the couch if you weren't trying to start something? In my opinion, she should've been surprised if there hadn't been a kiss.
I think Carly was definitely was looking for a good time with someone from the human side apart from the descendant side.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:19
gayscott wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:09 :oops: Why would you invite a guy over, wear a more provocative top, and snuggle on the couch if you weren't trying to start something? In my opinion, she should've been surprised if there hadn't been a kiss.
I agree... it's confusing enough at that age but she definitely was blurring those lines... The only defense I can think of on Carly's behalf is that she is unpracticed at social situations... but still, making dinner for two and cuddling on the couch would seem romantic to me too...
Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
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Post by B Creech »

Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43
Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:19
gayscott wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:09 :oops: Why would you invite a guy over, wear a more provocative top, and snuggle on the couch if you weren't trying to start something? In my opinion, she should've been surprised if there hadn't been a kiss.
I agree... it's confusing enough at that age but she definitely was blurring those lines... The only defense I can think of on Carly's behalf is that she is unpracticed at social situations... but still, making dinner for two and cuddling on the couch would seem romantic to me too...
Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
My take from the start has been that it was too intimate of an evening for just friends! I don't think Carly or Kane either one meant any harm, and I agree it is difficult at that age. I do, however, think that deep down Carly enjoyed the attention she got from Kane. Why else would she dress up and cook dinner for two? And then tell him to go when she knew it was almost time for Adam. Adam knew they were friends.
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Post by CherylTegan7 »

Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
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Post by Howlan »

B Creech wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 19:33
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43
Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:19

I agree... it's confusing enough at that age but she definitely was blurring those lines... The only defense I can think of on Carly's behalf is that she is unpracticed at social situations... but still, making dinner for two and cuddling on the couch would seem romantic to me too...
Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
My take from the start has been that it was too intimate of an evening for just friends! I don't think Carly or Kane either one meant any harm, and I agree it is difficult at that age. I do, however, think that deep down Carly enjoyed the attention she got from Kane. Why else would she dress up and cook dinner for two? And then tell him to go when she knew it was almost time for Adam. Adam knew they were friends.
Yes, I understand your point. I get why all are feeling so uptight about Carly. It is not that she dressed up, everyone wants to dress up while going out with friends. And I think she cooked for hi because Kane covered her shift at the store the other day. It was just meant as thanks. And also Adam knew all about their evening and Adama even knew that Kane had a major crush for Carly. And well Kane acted immaturely and went in the kiss I know that's because he thought that Carly wanted to be intimate with him. That thought is wrong.
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CherylTegan7 wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 20:22 Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
Yes, the slap can be argued in both ways. But since we are reading it from the perspective of Cary's first-person narration, I feel that Carly just wanted a good hangout!
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Post by Readerjorge »

It is a strange relationship of being close friends, somehow mentally connected with certain rules that each one has established. It seems difficult for someone not accustomed to expressions of affection, knowing what kind of samples of affection do not pass the line towards the romantic or the erotic.
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Post by Howlan »

Readerjorge wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 07:38 It is a strange relationship of being close friends, somehow mentally connected with certain rules that each one has established. It seems difficult for someone not accustomed to expressions of affection, knowing what kind of samples of affection do not pass the line towards the romantic or the erotic.
Especially when one is not accustomed to the other's feelings.
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Post by B Creech »

Readerjorge wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 07:38 It is a strange relationship of being close friends, somehow mentally connected with certain rules that each one has established. It seems difficult for someone not accustomed to expressions of affection, knowing what kind of samples of affection do not pass the line towards the romantic or the erotic.
That is true, and something I had not thought about! Thanks! :tiphat:
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Post by B Creech »

Howlan wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 00:12
B Creech wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 19:33
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43

Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
My take from the start has been that it was too intimate of an evening for just friends! I don't think Carly or Kane either one meant any harm, and I agree it is difficult at that age. I do, however, think that deep down Carly enjoyed the attention she got from Kane. Why else would she dress up and cook dinner for two? And then tell him to go when she knew it was almost time for Adam. Adam knew they were friends.
Yes, I understand your point. I get why all are feeling so uptight about Carly. It is not that she dressed up, everyone wants to dress up while going out with friends. And I think she cooked for hi because Kane covered her shift at the store the other day. It was just meant as thanks. And also Adam knew all about their evening and Adama even knew that Kane had a major crush for Carly. And well Kane acted immaturely and went in the kiss I know that's because he thought that Carly wanted to be intimate with him. That thought is wrong.
Great points, thanks! Young people are so much different today than when I was young; I guess what I might find suggestive - such as an off-the-shoulder sweater - is perfectly acceptable now. I should stop before I tell my age! :D
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Post by B Creech »

Howlan wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 00:16
CherylTegan7 wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 20:22 Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
Yes, the slap can be argued in both ways. But since we are reading it from the perspective of Cary's first-person narration, I feel that Carly just wanted a good hangout!
Exactly! She really didn't know how to be a 'normal' teenager because she was always having to hide her differences from everyone, like not letting her LR shine. I guess she was just learning how to be friendly and Kane took it to mean more because he wanted it to be more.
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Post by Nym182 »

B Creech wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 19:33
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43
Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:19

I agree... it's confusing enough at that age but she definitely was blurring those lines... The only defense I can think of on Carly's behalf is that she is unpracticed at social situations... but still, making dinner for two and cuddling on the couch would seem romantic to me too...
Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
My take from the start has been that it was too intimate of an evening for just friends! I don't think Carly or Kane either one meant any harm, and I agree it is difficult at that age. I do, however, think that deep down Carly enjoyed the attention she got from Kane. Why else would she dress up and cook dinner for two? And then tell him to go when she knew it was almost time for Adam. Adam knew they were friends.
That's a really good point! Maybe there was a bigger subconscious influence within Carly than we realized... I think most people at that age would see that dinner as a date type of situation... It's not like they invited their other friends like Crystal.
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Post by Nym182 »

CherylTegan7 wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 20:22 Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
I agree, it's definitely hard to navigate! It probably would have been better if he had asked if he could kiss her but they are teenagers so it's not completely unreasonable for Kane's hormones to take over! And I also feel mixed feelings about the slap...
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Post by Nym182 »

Readerjorge wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 07:38 It is a strange relationship of being close friends, somehow mentally connected with certain rules that each one has established. It seems difficult for someone not accustomed to expressions of affection, knowing what kind of samples of affection do not pass the line towards the romantic or the erotic.
Especially because it also sounds like Carly has not had a lot of experience with social interactions with people her own age with all her running from the Iksha. I mean, social interactions are hard enough to decipher at that age!
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