A lesson for parents

[Drianie]

Given that Lady Sougyon was raising her only child by herself, she probably went through a great deal of trial and error. There was a huge gap and a huge difference between seeing Embon as a young boy kicking an elder and then later seeing him as a model student. I was shocked by this transformation. I don't know if I would have been able to yield different results in parenting Embon, but I do know that I would have like to see him utilize his full potential more than he did. Given her recourses, knowledge, and experience, I think Lady Sougyon probably did the best she could, which is all any parent can hope for in the end.

[serenasiew]

Raised by a tiger-mom and over-disciplined as a child, I was shocked to come here (I won't say where) and see a child raised even more indulgently: spits on maids, hits grandmother over head with bottle, throws objects at others, screams and throws tantrums, stuffs face with junk food....It's really difficult on all the senses. Truly. And you can't say anything. Beautiful topic.

[crisanja]

Parenting is very subjective and also hard. However, I don't think we can say with certainty that being raised a certain way directly influences how someone turns out as they become adults. People overcome their childhoods everyday to become kind and compassionate. People also turn away from their upbringing to live very differently than what their parents taught them.

[Katherine Smith]

I think that this one of the many debates that, we as a society, will continue to have for years to come. I think that the type of parent that you are referring to is the so called "helicopter parent". This kind of parent responds to every need that the child has, but shelters him or her to such an extent that they fail to fully develop their own independence. I think that in the case of Embon he would have developed into a different man with a different upbringing.

[Adedayo+23]

I believe that there is often a direct link between how kids are raised and how they turn out as adults. While I don't agree with Lady Sougyon's methods raising young Embon, I can't quite say what I would have done differently. It was a different time and an entirely different culture. Although, kicking an elderly person would certainly earn him a whopping. Also, she was a single mother raising a prodigy. I guess she must have done something right eventually as Embon turned out ok.

[Catie139]

There's no doubt that he would have turned out differently had he had a different upbringing. The fact that his mother didn't "whip him into shape" as was customary possibly contributed to his having to learn lessons the hard way, since he didn't have much structure growing up. In addition, he didn't have the role model of a father to teach him. We can see in families today the impact that that has on children.

[kdstrack]

Sougyon was very aware of the culture and traditions of her country. She had vivid memories of her marriage ceremony at a young age. I think her guilt about being a single mother weighed heavily on her. It also appears that disciplining young children was frowned upon (especially royalty). This is common still today in many cultures. One can understand her struggle while raising her son on her own. I agree that Embon's transformation surprised me and didn't seem probable, but it did make the story interesting.

[lavkathleen]

Personally, I do think that parents should loosen up a bit on this parental love and protection which most times are overt. Most often, an overprotected child who isn't allowed to mix up with his/her peers at an early stage finds it hard to cope in the long run. This is because the lack the experience and can not relate properly.

True. This probably has a lot to do with their social status and how fast he advanced in school. Not to mention the increasing number of Japanese people in their land. He probably wasn't surrounded by his fellow Koreans, and they were probably older than he is. Lady Sougyon is the type to cement her child's future too, which is exactly as he was before he became an activist—wealthy, powerful, and known.

[lavkathleen]

I do think it's important that children are not babied too much, but a sheltered, safe life is not necessarily bad. Not everyone needs to experience extreme hardship in order to know what the world is like. Travel and education are more important.

True, but knowing and understanding are two different things. You wouldn't understand the lower class unless you immerse yourself in their life. Also, a person wouldn't learn how to do things on their own if other people are always doing it for them. Embon recognized this when one of their servants visited him in Japan.

[Honest-reviewer]

Absolutely! A person’s childhood decides his personality. I guess if Embon had a proper and loving family atmosphere in his growing years, then he would have turned out to be something different.

[Ndiviwe]

I think it's important to raise your children in a way that they will be able to exist in society. I don't mean for them to assimilate or lose their identity. I mean in a way that they are aware of different people in the world and to be accepting of their differences. And to understand different perspectives, backgrounds and struggles of different people in order to be able to coexist with these people.

[Miraphery]

Lady Sougyon's parenting skills were not the best. In reality, Embon would have turned out a lot worse. The lesson here for parents is to allow their kids to solve some of their problems as it helps in preparing them for the future.

[Kristy Khem]

To answer your question - Yes. If Embon had a different upbringing, he would be a different man. The culture that he grew up in seemed to favor men. And his mother was helpless in her own situation. She wasn't very focused on parenting him to be better. She allowed him to live a sheltered life, and, she gave him a lot of love and care, probably because she thought that she could only depend on him when he grew up and not her husband. Perhaps, she parented him in a way that ensured he would regard her as an important, likable figure in his life. Personally, I think that it is important to expose children to the realities of the world. Discipline is equally important and should be instilled.

[Shieldmaiden88]

Parenting is such a challenge in any family, any culture. I do agree with you that sheltering a child too much often has a negative impact later on. I like how some good friends view parenting older children, more like coaching them as they practice and prepare for adulthood.

There are so many things we naturally want to shelter our children from, but if they haven’t had a chance to become aware, consider and discuss very real things they will face once they are adults, they will be significantly less prepared and learning on your own can lead to many more hard knocks, which shapes who you are as a person.

[Tangerinehippie1]

I think that children need to grow up with their parents being as honest as they can at each age instead of sheltering until they get kicked out of the nest.