L.O.V.E. ....Cupid's Choke Hold (What does it mean to you?)

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 05 Apr 2008, 23:04

all of you guys write the cutest things ever, i just want to hug all of you so you aren't all so sad!

things will get better, they always do!

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 05 Apr 2008, 23:07

KaeMartyndale wrote:Love is:
- being as transparent as possible with another person
- Not fearing who you are or what you have to say because you know you are accepted
- Feeling completely comfortable with another person
- Feeling like you've known the other person for a minute and forever simultaniously

Yeap! If we could all just live in a "Hallmark moment" that would be perfect.

KaeMartyndale · Post by **KaeMartyndale** » 05 Apr 2008, 23:34

Star wrote: Yeap! If we could all just live in a "Hallmark moment" that would be perfect.

I don't know. I think that we grow as individuals the most in the moments of struggle. And I know that we all would not be who were are today without all of the difficult moments in our lives (I know I wouldn't, anyway!)

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 05 Apr 2008, 23:54

KaeMartyndale wrote:
Star wrote: Yeap! If we could all just live in a "Hallmark moment" that would be perfect.
I don't know. I think that we grow as individuals the most in the moments of struggle. And I know that we all would not be who were are today without all of the difficult moments in our lives (I know I wouldn't, anyway!)

Oh of course we do. I'm certainly no stranger to struggle...I've got a nice scar on my forehead to match the lovely cigarette burn on my hand. So yeah of course. I'm a bonafided survivor. Difficult moments, haha.
Oh I forgot to ask you Kae, how are things with you and your boyfriend going?

sleepydumpling · Post by **sleepydumpling** » 06 Apr 2008, 05:42

KaeMartyndale wrote:Love is:
- being as transparent as possible with another person
- Not fearing who you are or what you have to say because you know you are accepted
- Feeling completely comfortable with another person
- Feeling like you've known the other person for a minute and forever simultaniously

I think that's a good summary of romantic love Kae, but I think love is much, much more than that.

I also think it's simpler. I kind of think that as humans, we only have two emotions. Love (or joy - same thing) and fear. Positive emotions are loving/joyful, negative emotions are fearful.

So that makes love... everything that is positive!

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 06 Apr 2008, 09:17

sleepydumpling wrote:
KaeMartyndale wrote:Love is:
- being as transparent as possible with another person
- Not fearing who you are or what you have to say because you know you are accepted
- Feeling completely comfortable with another person
- Feeling like you've known the other person for a minute and forever simultaniously
I think that's a good summary of romantic love Kae, but I think love is much, much more than that.

I also think it's simpler. I kind of think that as humans, we only have two emotions. Love (or joy - same thing) and fear. Positive emotions are loving/joyful, negative emotions are fearful.

So that makes love... everything that is positive!

Its not that I don't believe this to be true, I think we all want that...strive to have it. But just outside of these things I think we all want greatly just to be accepted and respected for who we really are...mutual understanding of each other. And love..well love finds its place in all of us..we all respond differently to love I think. Sorry if I came across as a harden heart last night when I responded to your definition of love, I didn't mean to be nasty Kae, I'm just going through different emotions right now. I apologize if I ever offend anyone with my opinions or remarks. This is a beautiful theory though Kae.

KaeMartyndale · Post by **KaeMartyndale** » 06 Apr 2008, 13:49

Star wrote: Oh I forgot to ask you Kae, how are things with you and your boyfriend going?

Hm... things are... complicated. Life is really f**king complicated right now. But, hopefully I'll find some clarity soon, its well past due.

KaeMartyndale · Post by **KaeMartyndale** » 06 Apr 2008, 13:57

Star wrote:Sorry if I came across as a harden heart last night when I responded to your definition of love, I didn't mean to be nasty Kae, I'm just going through different emotions right now. I apologize if I ever offend anyone with my opinions or remarks. This is a beautiful theory though Kae.

There is no need to apologize, I promise. It takes a lot to really offend me.

And - I don't think that the things that I said of love were a theory, they are my experience. I have / had love with my boyfriend that is based on mutual acceptance and understanding. But, sometimes, this isn't enough! I think that there are so many facets to love that merely having one of them doesn't last forever. You still need the spark and the passion to make deep understanding not just friendship.

I don't know. I don't feel like I can verbalize my thoughts right now. They're all jumbled.

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 06 Apr 2008, 14:44

KaeMartyndale wrote:
Star wrote:Sorry if I came across as a harden heart last night when I responded to your definition of love, I didn't mean to be nasty Kae, I'm just going through different emotions right now. I apologize if I ever offend anyone with my opinions or remarks. This is a beautiful theory though Kae.
But, sometimes, this isn't enough! I think that there are so many facets to love that merely having one of them doesn't last forever. You still need the spark and the passion to make deep understanding not just friendship.

I don't know. I don't feel like I can verbalize my thoughts right now. They're all jumbled.

Spark and passion are always a wonderful thing in a relationship...but over time especially the longer you're in a relationship sparks and passion seem to shift...its only then that you rely on friendship and respect, love in the beginning of any relationship is good...the "honeymoon" phase so to speak...you have to work at it...peaks and valleys. But I won't lie...passion...spark...I live for that. Some people call that lust. But whatever it is, it sure does feels good.

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 06 Apr 2008, 14:47

Star wrote:
KaeMartyndale wrote:
Star wrote:Sorry if I came across as a harden heart last night when I responded to your definition of love, I didn't mean to be nasty Kae, I'm just going through different emotions right now. I apologize if I ever offend anyone with my opinions or remarks. This is a beautiful theory though Kae.
But, sometimes, this isn't enough! I think that there are so many facets to love that merely having one of them doesn't last forever. You still need the spark and the passion to make deep understanding not just friendship.

I don't know. I don't feel like I can verbalize my thoughts right now. They're all jumbled.
Spark and passion are always a wonderful thing in a relationship...but over time especially the longer you're in a relationship sparks and passion seem to shift...its only then that you rely on friendship and respect, love in the beginning of any relationship is good...the "honeymoon" phase so to speak...you have to work at it...peaks and valleys. But I won't lie...passion...spark...I live for that. Some people call that lust. But whatever it is it sure feels good.

Totally agree with that. Spark and Passion are wonderful, but will not, by any means, be the foundation of a long lasting relationship.

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 06 Apr 2008, 14:59

dejona84 wrote:
Star wrote:
KaeMartyndale wrote: But, sometimes, this isn't enough! I think that there are so many facets to love that merely having one of them doesn't last forever. You still need the spark and the passion to make deep understanding not just friendship.

I don't know. I don't feel like I can verbalize my thoughts right now. They're all jumbled.
Spark and passion are always a wonderful thing in a relationship...but over time especially the longer you're in a relationship sparks and passion seem to shift...its only then that you rely on friendship and respect, love in the beginning of any relationship is good...the "honeymoon" phase so to speak...you have to work at it...peaks and valleys. But I won't lie...passion...spark...I live for that. Some people call that lust. But whatever it is it sure feels good.
Totally agree with that. Spark and Passion are wonderful, but will not, by any means, be the foundation of a long lasting relationship.

Thanks Dejona, I hope you survived the storms ok..I missed you the last couple of days ladie

Yeah I think thats why divorce is at an all time high and relationships don't last...people stop trying...boredom of the everyday with that person becames something they no longer wish to work at. But passion fades over time...some people need that consistently to feel alive...but relationship's the longer you're in one, and with maturity you have to grow and sometimes growing is realizing what you have, and whats important. relationship's are Work! lol thats life sometimes. And if you can get through all this and hang in there, you might find you're partner through life's journey..soul mate. Now this isn't always the case of course, I realize that, somethings just have to end, I understand, even relationships, I dunno, deep down I'm a real hopeless romantic at heart. I'm old enough to know while passion and sparks are so grand in itself, that they don't always stay as they first were..I want my best friend..I want true love. And I'll wait for that.

KaeMartyndale · Post by **KaeMartyndale** » 06 Apr 2008, 15:01

dejona84 wrote: Totally agree with that. Spark and Passion are wonderful, but will not, by any means, be the foundation of a long lasting relationship.

But I feel like I can't live without them! I've been in a sparkles relationship for a year and a half. Its not peaks and valleys... because I can't remember the last real "peak" that lasted more than a few days. Maybe I just refuse to grow up, maybe that's the problem, maybe this is what life is, but its f**king depressing. I need to be needed, wanted, desired. I want someone to shake my soul... at least some of the time. I'm only 23 and I shouldn't feel this old already!

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 06 Apr 2008, 15:20

KaeMartyndale wrote:
dejona84 wrote: Totally agree with that. Spark and Passion are wonderful, but will not, by any means, be the foundation of a long lasting relationship.
But I feel like I can't live without them! I've been in a sparkles relationship for a year and a half. Its not peaks and valleys... because I can't remember the last real "peak" that lasted more than a few days. Maybe I just refuse to grow up, maybe that's the problem, maybe this is what life is, but its f**king depressing. I need to be needed, wanted, desired. I want someone to shake my soul... at least some of the time. I'm only 23 and I shouldn't feel this old already!

No! You shouldn't feel old Kae! I understand that, I do!! Believe me! I just said I LIVE for that! And it does get REAL f**king depressing...but you can go through life expecting someone else to shake the sugar tree and they will, but what I'm saying is "over" time...it just happens..it fades, you can go through "many" a relationship if passion is something you seek more often than other aspects of love. But then again maybe thats why you don't need to be in a relationship..its not that you refuse to grow up...your soul is searching. And don't feel ALONE...I..well, everyone I guess, wants to be WANTED..NEEDED...DESIRED. Loved. I know I do

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 06 Apr 2008, 16:26

Star wrote:
dejona84 wrote:
Star wrote: Spark and passion are always a wonderful thing in a relationship...but over time especially the longer you're in a relationship sparks and passion seem to shift...its only then that you rely on friendship and respect, love in the beginning of any relationship is good...the "honeymoon" phase so to speak...you have to work at it...peaks and valleys. But I won't lie...passion...spark...I live for that. Some people call that lust. But whatever it is it sure feels good.
Totally agree with that. Spark and Passion are wonderful, but will not, by any means, be the foundation of a long lasting relationship.
Thanks Dejona, I hope you survived the storms ok..I missed you the last couple of days ladie Yeah I think thats why divorce is at an alltime high and relationships don't last...people stop trying...boredom of the everyday with that person becames something they no longer wish to work at. But passion fades over time...some people need that consistently to feel alive...but relationship's the longer you're in one and with maturity you have to grow and sometimes growing is realizing what you have and whats important. relationship's are Work! lol thats life sometimes. And if you can get through all this and hang in there you have you're partner through life's journey..soul mate. Deep down I'm a real hopeless romantic at heart. I'm old enough to know while passion and sparks are so grand in itself, that they don't always stay as they first were..I want my best friend..I want true love. And I'll wait for that.

Thanks! I am alive and well!