L.O.V.E. ....Cupid's Choke Hold (What does it mean to you?)

awelker · Post by **awelker** » 09 Apr 2008, 23:50

so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 09 Apr 2008, 23:58

awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.

Alli, I know exactly what you're going through

This is unfortunate indeed. Did you two have a talk? I can't believe its his break and he's only spent a day with you...what a pisser

All female friends..dang

I'm so sorry

You need to sit him down! Talk!

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 10 Apr 2008, 00:15

Star wrote:
awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.
Alli, I know exactly what you're going through This is unfortunate indeed. Did you two have a talk? I can't believe its his break and he's only spent a day with you...what a pisser All female friends..dang I'm so sorry You need to sit him down! Talk!

Yeah I agree with Star. This entire situation is unfair to you. I am sorry to hear that. I don't blame you for being uncomfortable at all, Who wouldn't?! He is putting you in an awkward situation. Not fair, call him out on it.

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 10 Apr 2008, 00:41

dejona84 wrote:
Star wrote:
awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.
Alli, I know exactly what you're going through This is unfortunate indeed. Did you two have a talk? I can't believe its his break and he's only spent a day with you...what a pisser All female friends..dang I'm so sorry You need to sit him down! Talk!
Yeah I agree with Star. This entire situation is unfair to you. I am sorry to hear that. I don't blame you for being uncomfortable at all, Who wouldn't?! He is putting you in an awkward situation. Not fair, call him out on it.

Indeed!!! Make him walk the plank!!

Whip out your Twisted Sister CD and tell him...you're "not going to take it anymore"!!

....ok thats a weebit much, but still Dejona is right this is extremely awkward for you.

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 10 Apr 2008, 03:37

Star wrote:
Indeed!!! Make him walk the plank!! Whip out your Twisted Sister CD and tell him...you're "not going to take it anymore"!! ....ok thats a weebit much, but still Dejona is right this is extremely awkward for you.

Remind me never to get on your bad side!

sleepydumpling · Post by **sleepydumpling** » 10 Apr 2008, 06:26

Scott Hughes wrote:In a non-sexual, non-romantic way, I definitely love my friends. When my closest friends and I are together, we are childish and goofy, and it's fun.

That's exactly like I am with my closest friends. It's delicious!

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 10 Apr 2008, 07:59

dejona84 wrote:
Star wrote:
Indeed!!! Make him walk the plank!! Whip out your Twisted Sister CD and tell him...you're "not going to take it anymore"!! ....ok thats a weebit much, but still Dejona is right this is extremely awkward for you.
Remind me never to get on your bad side!

Hahaha!!

Well,well I certainly had a few too many glasses of wine last night

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 10 Apr 2008, 08:02

sleepydumpling wrote: That's exactly like I am with my closest friends. It's delicious!

That is awesome! Delicious is always yummyyyyyyy!

KaeMartyndale · Post by **KaeMartyndale** » 10 Apr 2008, 08:13

boys... *sigh* Sorry, Allison!

knightss · Post by **knightss** » 10 Apr 2008, 10:00

I'm sorry Alli, guys can be assholes. You should ask him what he is looking for in the relationship and see what he thinks a relationship is. It's kind of like a Terms & Condition contract lol. Make sure that each of you agree with the terms before you get involved in something that's either too serious for your tastes or not serious enough.

Tracey Neal · Post by **Tracey Neal** » 10 Apr 2008, 11:53

awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do.

sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.

You know Alli I really do know what your going through. I've had just two relationships in my lifetime, both have done quite a bit of damage to me.
I'm tired of being nice...I don't have it in me to be compassionate today when speaking on this subject.
Truth is I feel I can sum up both of my relationships with very few words.
Abused the first...Used the second. I don't feel either gave a who about me. One I was just his punching bag...the second hmm, a "twist" in his story. Thats all.

Sorry for my wee little rant. I'm hurt too.

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes · Post by **Scott** » 10 Apr 2008, 16:52

awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.

Allison, I'm sorry your having trouble with the guy you're dating. I don't know the situation, but, if he's hanging out with other people and leaving you alone, I'd suggest you go out too and try to have fun with other people besides him. If he calls you up and wants to hang out with you later, then you can take that from there. But I'd suggest go out and forget about him, and I'd suggest you don't stay alone thinking about him if he just goes out and leaves you behind, especially with other girls including his ex. I say get him off your mind; don't give him your thoughts if he won't give you his time. But that's just my suggestion. Take it with a grain of salt.

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 10 Apr 2008, 17:55

Star wrote:
awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do.

sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.
You know Alli I really do know what your going through. I've had just two relationships in my lifetime, both have done quite a bit of damage to me.
I'm tired of being nice...I don't have it in me to be compassionate today when speaking on this subject.
Truth is I feel I can sum up both of my relationships with very few words.
Abused the first...Used the second. I don't feel either gave a who about me. One I was just his punching bag...the second hmm, a "twist" in his story. Thats all. Sorry for my wee little rant. I'm hurt too.

I am sorry Star. I hate that it has worn you down so much. I had an awful couple of relationships too. I am glad you got away from them. You two will bounce back and leave all this behind you both. It gets better, you just have to be cautious on who you give your heart too. Make sure they really deserve it.

rose4you · Post by **rose4you** » 10 Apr 2008, 17:57

Star wrote:
awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do.

sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.
You know Alli I really do know what your going through. I've had just two relationships in my lifetime, both have done quite a bit of damage to me.
I'm tired of being nice...I don't have it in me to be compassionate today when speaking on this subject.
Truth is I feel I can sum up both of my relationships with very few words.
Abused the first...Used the second. I don't feel either gave a who about me. One I was just his punching bag...the second hmm, a "twist" in his story. Thats all. Sorry for my wee little rant. I'm hurt too.

physical abuse is a very horrible thing to go through, but so is mental abuse, being 'used' as you say. sounds like you had both, i'm sorry to hear that, no one deserves to be treated anyway but with love or kindness. and respect above all. i work with abused women and children, i see the effects it has over them. i don't know your age dear or if you have children, but if you ever need to talk i'll listen. and its allright to rant, people need to let things out. it helps to heal.

dejona84 · Post by **dejona84** » 10 Apr 2008, 17:57

Scott Hughes wrote:
awelker wrote:so i've come to terms that i get my hopes up way to much. this guy that i have been dating really hurt me tonight. which is something that he said he never wanted to do. i had told him that i didn't have anything to do tonight and i was hoping that he would suggest that we hang out, see a movie or something but instead what does he do, goes and hangs out with his step sister. technically they aren't even related anymore since his mom and her dad got divorced. but really tops the cake is that her roommate is his ex. so i don't really feel comfortable with him there. its not that i don't trust him because he has told me that he is faithful, its that i don't trust her. i don't know what she is capable of. all i can say is that if something did happen, i'm going to be really pissed and probably stop talking to the guy. me and my best friend had a heart to heart tonight. we walked around campus for two hours and talked about everything that is going on between us because lately i have been really wondering what he wants out of everything that is going on. does he want to get more serious or does he like this casual thing that is going on (which btw i DONT). i mean he has eluded how he feels but has not come right out and told me how he feels or what he wants out of us. i mean we live some distance apart but it really isn't that far its only like 30 miles and i drive farther than that to see family. so you would think that someone that wanted to be with you would want to actually spend time with you, right. he's on his spring break right now and we have seen each other one day out of the week so far and it was like the first day. since then he has hung out with friends (which are all girls) and now his EX, which he said is someone he really never wanted to see again, but where is he? o yea thats right her place. sry i have rambled but this really bothered me and i needed to vent real bad.
Allison, I'm sorry your having trouble with the guy you're dating. I don't know the situation, but, if he's hanging out with other people and leaving you alone, I'd suggest you go out too and try to have fun with other people besides him. If he calls you up and wants to hang out with you later, then you can take that from there. But I'd suggest go out and forget about him, and I'd suggest you don't stay alone thinking about him if he just goes out and leaves you behind, especially with other girls including his ex. I say get him off your mind; don't give him your thoughts if he won't give you his time. But that's just my suggestion. Take it with a grain of salt.

I agree. That sounds like a good plan. You shouldn't be home worrying yourself about him. I know it hurts, and I am sorry. Take care of yourself first before you concern yourself with anyone else though. (easier said then done, I know, I have been there. It is possible though!

)