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This is the place for readers of poetry. Discuss poetry and literary art. You can also discuss music here, including lyrics. Also, you can discuss poets themselves, in addition to poetry.
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eden
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New here,feedback please?

Post by eden »

This is my first time writing a poem. so here it goes
Tonight we celebrate
For the love that we create
As our passion that burns like a fire
We dance until our hearts desire

The moonlight shines above us
As the cold wind embrace us
We can hear the angels sing
as we conquer everything

We defeated our foe
And our love continue to grow
Our vows will last perpetuity
Our love will last for eternity
what do you think guys?
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Fran
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Post by Fran »

Very nice & uplifting .. I like it, well done
We fade away, but vivid in our eyes
A world is born again that never dies.
- My Home by Clive James
Ant
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Post by Ant »

I like the way it's put together but it's a bit soppy for me.
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Carla Hurst-Chandler
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Post by Carla Hurst-Chandler »

Very nice. Positive :)
“The real cycle you're working on is a cycle called yourself.”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
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Maud Fitch
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Post by Maud Fitch »

Strange but I think it's about saying good-bye, almost as in immortal life after death.
"Every story has three sides to it - yours, mine and the facts" Foster Meharny Russell
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Carla Hurst-Chandler
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Post by Carla Hurst-Chandler »

I can see that.
“The real cycle you're working on is a cycle called yourself.”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
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eden
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Post by eden »

thank you for your reviews guys..
Maud Fitch wrote:Strange but I think it's about saying good-bye, almost as in immortal life after death.
yep it's something like that..
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bookgator
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Post by bookgator »

We defeated our foe
And our love continue to grow
Our vows will last perpetuity
Our love will last for eternity
Is it just me or something tells me that this poem is about love and death. It made me a bit sad but it doesn't mean I don't th poem or something. I think the poem moved me and made me reflect on whatever experience I had in the past. Cool poem.
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Cheryl Rendone
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Post by Cheryl Rendone »

I enjoyed reading this, very good job! I do have a few critics though. Did you mean to leave an "s" off of any of the words, like "winds" and "continues". Just an idea, I thought it might flow better. :D other than that, I enjoyed it!
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Nathrad Sheare
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Post by Nathrad Sheare »

I think it's impossible this is your first time. :wink: Wonderful.
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who only dream at night.

-Edgar Allan Poe
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