Could you date someone who doesn't read?

[Fran]

Honestly, I'm still amazed that almost all of the responses have been overwhelmingly in the I don't think I could date a non-reader camp. I certainly have never met all of these passionate male readers myself, and I don't know where the ladies find them in abundance. Dating a non-reader has never put a damper on my reading habit though, so I don't think it's that big of a deal. I would love to have bookish conversations with a boyfriend, like I do with my handful of reader friends, and I've always envisioned being together, while just sitting and reading, in our picturesque little library with lots of mahogany and leather bound books or in bed or something, as my holy grail of wonderfulness. But while that would delight me in someone, so do so many other things. So I've always thought it would be amazing to be with someone who loved reading like I do (along with the rest of the package), but I've never even considered it as a dealbreaker or requirement until this forum.

Good for you. I think your absolutely right. I'm 66 years old. I've never had a relationship with a woman that was even
vaguely supported by intellect. Mine or hers. I'm intelligent and love learning. I rarely meet women or men who are.
But its never been the basis for friendship and certainly not love. A "non-reader"? So that's what my friend Bonnie is.
And I thought she was just someone I could tell a dirty joke to or teach me the two step. Wait til she finds out.

Well said guys ... it's important to keep a sense of proportion and I do try to avoid absolutes. Vive la différence

[Purple Rose]

@Fran : sense of proportion, that's it. I totally agree and will bear that in mind. I lost my sense of proportion years ago, don't know where or when so finding it might be tricky.

[kg211970]

if I found the right person, and she didn't like to read, I would still date her, because there's probably something she likes that I don't, that's part of being in a relationship.... relationship is not based on how much you have in common, but by how different you are, as long as you respect each others likes and dislikes, .... it should work out great

[47giraffes]

My boyfriend isn't much of a reader, and I'm perfectly okay with it. He loves watching football, and I hate it. There are always going to be things that one person loves and the other just...doesn't, and thats what a relationship is about - working around your likes and dislikes. That being said, I wouldn't want to date someone who thinks reading is "stupid" or someone who has never tried to read a book in his life and claims to hate them. You can't hate something you've never done. And reading certainly isn't stupid.
I think I understand why he isn't an avid reader because there was a time when I wasn't either. And I think J.K. Rowlings quote “If you don’t like to read you haven’t found the right book.” is just so very true. Some people just start off with all the wrong books and then they never want to associate with reading again. Ah well!

[amilypotter]

Hie..
Dating someone who cant read...its really interesting to think over that...definately its hard to date someone who cant share your passion...
Thanks

[Fran]

It's rather naive to think that successful human relationships are simply a matter of matching up likes and dislikes, nature has designed us to be a lot more complicated, unpredictable & perverse that that. Certainly life would be a lot simpler if it were just a case of matching up people with similar interests ... that's what the dating agencies try to do without a lot of success. There would probably be lot less divorce too but then it would be so dam boring.

When someone makes your little heart flutter it really doesn't matter a dam if he/s ever picked up a book in their life.
Well that's what I think anyway

[Bighuey]

It's rather naive to think that successful human relationships are simply a matter of matching up likes and dislikes, nature has designed us to be a lot more complicated, unpredictable & perverse that that. Certainly life would be a lot simpler if it were just a case of matching up people with similar interests ... that's what the dating agencies try to do without a lot of success. There would probably be lot less divorce too but then it would be so dam boring.

When someone makes your little heart flutter it really doesn't matter a dam if he/s ever picked up a book in their life.
Well that's what I think anyway

You got that right, Fran. People who are too much alike usually hate each others guts. You can learn from each others differences, and Ive found that you respect each other a little more.

[Trinity31]

It's rather naive to think that successful human relationships are simply a matter of matching up likes and dislikes, nature has designed us to be a lot more complicated, unpredictable & perverse that that. Certainly life would be a lot simpler if it were just a case of matching up people with similar interests ... that's what the dating agencies try to do without a lot of success. There would probably be lot less divorce too but then it would be so dam boring.

When someone makes your little heart flutter it really doesn't matter a dam if he/s ever picked up a book in their life.
Well that's what I think anyway

You got that right, Fran. People who are too much alike usually hate each others guts. You can learn from each others differences, and Ive found that you respect each other a little more.

I agree with both of you I cant say that Ive ever dated a reader but that doesn't mean I didn't have good relationships with them.

[victoriaaa]

I've been with my OH for five years and in all this time he has never read a book. I don't think he ever has, though he insists that he was read of mice and men, though threw his own choice? i doubt that!

But.. he understands my passion for reading, knows that if i'm curled up on the couch lost in a good book i probs wont hear a word he is saying. He buys me boxes of books for Christmas etc, and was the one who bought my kindle. As were a young couple i love that he understands and doesnt judge, if he made fun of me i wouldnt be with him thats for sure...its a part of who i am.

[DATo]

I think that whether or not a potential girl friend or wife was a reader would be WAAAAAAAAY down on my priority list .... but it wouldn't hurt if she were a reader [;-).

[tinabookworm]

If you decide to date someone who doesn't read, don't get your hopes up about them ever starting. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but if a person hasn't developed a love of reading by adulthood, generally they aren't going to.

-- 01 Mar 2012, 21:35 --

Not only could I date someone who doesn't read, I have been for over three years now

[shaphat]

I prefer to talk to people that have a broader view of the world and are really able to appreciate a good book. I think I have a problem finding someone to date with because here in Guatemala most people are not interested in reading much or have totally different tastes in literature than I do.

[Auggie]

I've never dated an avid reader. While non of my ex-beau's could chatter with me about this or that book in particular the ideas and concepts that were addressed in said books were never lost on them. So if I wanted to talk about something in particular regarding the book I would just give a bit of context and then off the conversation would go.

Besides that I've always had girl-friends that were readers so I never felt like my love life 'needed' that common ground. If I wanted to talk about books with someone then there was always someone there. It didn't have to be my romantic other.

Maybe one reason why this has never bothered me is because book reading for me has never been a multiple person activity.Book reading was always something very 'me' centered. I've only just become interested in book clubs.

My fiance enjoys academic reading and is a very intelligent person, but doesn't read nearly as much as I do during his free time. He would rather watch old movies or play the guitar when he gets a spare moment. This is part of the reason I love him. Honestly, I need him to bring me out of my book stupor from time to time!

[Geneen Karstens]

My ex husband resented my reading. When he was engrossed in a football game I would go to our bedroom to read and he was always upset by that. He expected me to watch also which I did when our local team was playing but he watched all of them and I didn't care for it. It got so i'd hide my books because he'd made fun of my reading. I didn't mind that he didn't read. Those of you who have partners who don't read but don't mind your reading are very fortunate. You should give your partner a big smooch and tell them how much you appreciate it.

[Bighuey]

Wouldnt matter to me. As long as we love and respect one another thats whats important.