Official Review: Dunes of Fire by AJ Goodrum
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Jax14
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Official Review: Dunes of Fire by AJ Goodrum
[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Dunes of Fire" by AJ Goodrum.]
Dunes of Fire by AJ Goodrum is a standalone novel and is part historical, part fantasy and part romance. This work of fiction is a story of Egypt and how teachers from an alien world came through a portal of the sun to show humans how to build the pyramids as well as impart a great gift to them.
King Arumet has been chosen to meet the teachers and, spurred on by the idea of great rewards, he is determined to welcome them to Earth as lavishly as possible. The teachers then explain that they will need a select group of people to work with so that they can share certain bits of knowledge with them able to be passed down through generations. This would ensure that their lands were not engulfed by a desert to the west. The aliens then vanish, leaving behind statues, pyramids and new substances able to be used for weaponry.
Twelve thousand years later, Johnny Cortez’s father has gone missing. When Johnny gets the news, he dashes off to the dig in Egypt that his father, Manny, has been working at. Manny was obsessed with finding evidence of the mythical teachers. There he meets the site dig manager, Mr Widdal. Straight away Johnny gets a bad feeling about him, and his instincts are spot on. Mr Widdal has been trying to sell off artefacts from the site and seems intent on finding a hidden treasure. Could Mr Widdal have something to do with his father’s disappearance? Johnny meets Ani, the daughter of one of the managers on the site, and is instantly smitten. But will his playboy ways interfere with him possibly finding his soul mate? And could the package his father sent to him just before he disappeared with instructions not to open it have anything to do with his disappearance? There is definitely something more to this than meets the eye...
It always piques my interest when the blurb of the book I’m reviewing boldly states on Amazon that ‘It will become a best seller.’ This always leads me to hope that I’m in for a gripping read that has been well edited. This was, unfortunately, not the case here. Most of the story is described in the published synopsis, so none of what follows is a spoiler. The story starts out with alien beings arriving in Egypt and telling the king they will share a great gift with humans. The book then swiftly moves to Dr Manny Cortez finding something at the dig and going missing. For approximately 130 pages of the book, Johnny has gone to Egypt to look for his father but has bedded woman after woman. The actual climax to the story comes in the third last chapter, and it is so rushed it leaves you with a lot more questions than answers. The gift is never fully explained either, so the healing powers that the aliens say they will impart right at the beginning of the book are never expanded on and only mentioned once briefly again.
The writing style started off well, but soon mistake after mistake crept in. Right in the prologue is a POV jump and these continue throughout the book. Incorrect words are continuously used like craving instead of carving, suave instead of salve and water instead of waiter. Dialogue and actions tags are mixed up and random capitals appear where they shouldn’t be. In fact, a YouTube URL arbitrarily appears in a line for no reason whatsoever. At one stage Johnny describes a character as having blue eyes and then as she leaves the bar he says he will miss her green eyes. Then her hair changes from blonde to black. The sex scenes also made me cringe. From phrases like ‘love canal’ and ‘perpendicular movement like a jackhammer on a sidewalk’ to one that had me perplexed: ‘Johnny could feel her pelvis contracting around his lower intestines.’ How on Earth? There was awkward phrasing like: ‘How could he do this, and he is supposed to find a killer’ or ‘The animal’s teeth were ominous as it opened further as it stocked her.’ At one stage Johnny even gave a man a thousand-pound note, and as much as I’ve tried to research it, no thousand-pound note in any currency was used in Egypt at that time.
This was all such a pity as the base idea for the story was good. Unfortunately, the wrong parts of the story were focused on. Much more could have been looked at about the aliens, their message and its impact on humans instead of Johnny running around with a bunch of women. Even the villain seemed to go from evil mastermind to idiotic fanatic. I didn’t connect with any of the characters and I felt Ani’s story could have been fleshed out a lot more. Johnny just had women fall for him as soon as they met him and I never felt anything of substance come from him either.
Dunes of Fire confused me and due to the poor editing and the need to make the book more cohesive I took off two stars. I thus rate Dunes of Fire 2 out of 4 stars. If the author expanded on the ideas a little more, I’m sure readers who are interested in historical fiction with a bit of time travel thrown in would really enjoy it.
******
Dunes of Fire
View: on Bookshelves
Dunes of Fire by AJ Goodrum is a standalone novel and is part historical, part fantasy and part romance. This work of fiction is a story of Egypt and how teachers from an alien world came through a portal of the sun to show humans how to build the pyramids as well as impart a great gift to them.
King Arumet has been chosen to meet the teachers and, spurred on by the idea of great rewards, he is determined to welcome them to Earth as lavishly as possible. The teachers then explain that they will need a select group of people to work with so that they can share certain bits of knowledge with them able to be passed down through generations. This would ensure that their lands were not engulfed by a desert to the west. The aliens then vanish, leaving behind statues, pyramids and new substances able to be used for weaponry.
Twelve thousand years later, Johnny Cortez’s father has gone missing. When Johnny gets the news, he dashes off to the dig in Egypt that his father, Manny, has been working at. Manny was obsessed with finding evidence of the mythical teachers. There he meets the site dig manager, Mr Widdal. Straight away Johnny gets a bad feeling about him, and his instincts are spot on. Mr Widdal has been trying to sell off artefacts from the site and seems intent on finding a hidden treasure. Could Mr Widdal have something to do with his father’s disappearance? Johnny meets Ani, the daughter of one of the managers on the site, and is instantly smitten. But will his playboy ways interfere with him possibly finding his soul mate? And could the package his father sent to him just before he disappeared with instructions not to open it have anything to do with his disappearance? There is definitely something more to this than meets the eye...
It always piques my interest when the blurb of the book I’m reviewing boldly states on Amazon that ‘It will become a best seller.’ This always leads me to hope that I’m in for a gripping read that has been well edited. This was, unfortunately, not the case here. Most of the story is described in the published synopsis, so none of what follows is a spoiler. The story starts out with alien beings arriving in Egypt and telling the king they will share a great gift with humans. The book then swiftly moves to Dr Manny Cortez finding something at the dig and going missing. For approximately 130 pages of the book, Johnny has gone to Egypt to look for his father but has bedded woman after woman. The actual climax to the story comes in the third last chapter, and it is so rushed it leaves you with a lot more questions than answers. The gift is never fully explained either, so the healing powers that the aliens say they will impart right at the beginning of the book are never expanded on and only mentioned once briefly again.
The writing style started off well, but soon mistake after mistake crept in. Right in the prologue is a POV jump and these continue throughout the book. Incorrect words are continuously used like craving instead of carving, suave instead of salve and water instead of waiter. Dialogue and actions tags are mixed up and random capitals appear where they shouldn’t be. In fact, a YouTube URL arbitrarily appears in a line for no reason whatsoever. At one stage Johnny describes a character as having blue eyes and then as she leaves the bar he says he will miss her green eyes. Then her hair changes from blonde to black. The sex scenes also made me cringe. From phrases like ‘love canal’ and ‘perpendicular movement like a jackhammer on a sidewalk’ to one that had me perplexed: ‘Johnny could feel her pelvis contracting around his lower intestines.’ How on Earth? There was awkward phrasing like: ‘How could he do this, and he is supposed to find a killer’ or ‘The animal’s teeth were ominous as it opened further as it stocked her.’ At one stage Johnny even gave a man a thousand-pound note, and as much as I’ve tried to research it, no thousand-pound note in any currency was used in Egypt at that time.
This was all such a pity as the base idea for the story was good. Unfortunately, the wrong parts of the story were focused on. Much more could have been looked at about the aliens, their message and its impact on humans instead of Johnny running around with a bunch of women. Even the villain seemed to go from evil mastermind to idiotic fanatic. I didn’t connect with any of the characters and I felt Ani’s story could have been fleshed out a lot more. Johnny just had women fall for him as soon as they met him and I never felt anything of substance come from him either.
Dunes of Fire confused me and due to the poor editing and the need to make the book more cohesive I took off two stars. I thus rate Dunes of Fire 2 out of 4 stars. If the author expanded on the ideas a little more, I’m sure readers who are interested in historical fiction with a bit of time travel thrown in would really enjoy it.
******
Dunes of Fire
View: on Bookshelves
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kandscreeley
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Well, the good news is that it's a good premise. With some work, I know it can be ready for a mass audience, but it's clear that it's not ready yet. I hope the author takes your advice. Thanks.
A book is a dream you hold in your hands.
—Neil Gaiman
—Neil Gaiman
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slj3988
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Shame that the whole 'aliens built the pyramids' thing has been done a few times before. The premise is kind of dumb. The pyramids were built to point to the stars in worship because Egyptians used the stars to navigate the desert. Plus, their representations of Gods were animals, not little green men. You'd build idols based on the aliens, not a jackal. Or did they wear Anubis helmets like in Stargate?
I like sci-fi and I'm all for stories involving aliens if there's a logic to it. At least build around a theory that exists due to lack of evidence. This book has no logic, and from what you said, no payoff either.
The thought of the playboy love interest when he's there to find his father is kind of insensitive too. Who is in the mindset to do that when they're supposed to be in grief? Childish.
Smaller things such as the hair and eye colour may have been a mistake. Or she dyed her hair and it just fails to point it out. If she had blue eyes that appeared green in certain light and the details were deleted, I can get that. Either way, it wasn't proofread.
I like sci-fi and I'm all for stories involving aliens if there's a logic to it. At least build around a theory that exists due to lack of evidence. This book has no logic, and from what you said, no payoff either.
The thought of the playboy love interest when he's there to find his father is kind of insensitive too. Who is in the mindset to do that when they're supposed to be in grief? Childish.
Smaller things such as the hair and eye colour may have been a mistake. Or she dyed her hair and it just fails to point it out. If she had blue eyes that appeared green in certain light and the details were deleted, I can get that. Either way, it wasn't proofread.
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LauraLeeWasHere
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I really appreciated your review even though you didn't recommend the book. Or maybe because you didn't recommend the book.
It was obvious that you started out really wanting to enjoy and recommend this book but as element after element stacked up against it you felt cornered and had no choice but to recommend we pass this one by. At least in it's current state. But I'm going to add one more thing against it. The premise is so old and done to dryness. I remember reading "Chariots of the gods" in the mid 1970's and it wasn't a fiction. It was the first time an author said he had proof that Aliens built the pyramids and it's been in a Kajillion stories ever since.
But I thought your review was so well done and your positive attitude trustworthy, so I'll be gladly reading more of your reviews, whether you recommend a book or not.
Sincerely, LL
It was obvious that you started out really wanting to enjoy and recommend this book but as element after element stacked up against it you felt cornered and had no choice but to recommend we pass this one by. At least in it's current state. But I'm going to add one more thing against it. The premise is so old and done to dryness. I remember reading "Chariots of the gods" in the mid 1970's and it wasn't a fiction. It was the first time an author said he had proof that Aliens built the pyramids and it's been in a Kajillion stories ever since.
But I thought your review was so well done and your positive attitude trustworthy, so I'll be gladly reading more of your reviews, whether you recommend a book or not.
Sincerely, LL
And they sang a new song saying,
"You are worthy to take the book,
and to open its to seals,
for You were slain and have redeemed us to God,
by your blood, out of every tribe and tongue and people and Nation." Rev. 5:9
NKJ & KJV
"You are worthy to take the book,
and to open its to seals,
for You were slain and have redeemed us to God,
by your blood, out of every tribe and tongue and people and Nation." Rev. 5:9
NKJ & KJV
Latest Review: Island Games by Caleb J. Boyer
