Tender

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Laurensanchez89
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Tender

Post by Laurensanchez89 »

She disappears
in walls of solace
coded conversations
but never calls us
built upon her heart of stone
wise and tender
but all alone
a ghost for days
then just appears
with stories, lies, and souvenirs
although I know it’s all a dream
by daylight she’ll be gone
I'll stay here in this tender moment
and curse the light of dawn
it’s warm and safe within her walls
these bricks of solitude
all she says is stay with me
I never will be rescued
futility to plead with her
my reason understands
how lost and sick that I would be
if my life were in her hands
timur777
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Post by timur777 »

Well structured and wisely written. Connects with a reader. Great job.
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Laurensanchez89
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Post by Laurensanchez89 »

Thank you!
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nicole-adrianne
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Post by nicole-adrianne »

I love this mysterious tone of this piece. What inspired you to write it?
* * *
One feels like a duck, splashing around in all this wet. And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!
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Laurensanchez89
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Post by Laurensanchez89 »

Thank you! It’s about my mom who was an addict when I was growing up.
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Tobewankenobe
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Post by Tobewankenobe »

It's so good at carrying the narrative implicitly.
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