Triolet: Like Petals' Softest Touch

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Triolet: Like Petals' Softest Touch

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes »

Like petals' softest touch,
Felt down deep in my soul,
The breeze caressed as much,
Like petals' softest touch;

Your lips I've known did such,
With kisses that I stole,
Like petals' softest touch,
Felt down deep in my soul.


Reyvrex Questor Reyes
first published: December 19, 2012
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)
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Tobewankenobe
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Post by Tobewankenobe »

You're such a good poet. I really enjoy reading your work. Reading your critiques helps me learn more about poetry, too. I'm just in here because it's so fun, at this point.
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes »

Tobewankenobe wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 15:30 You're such a good poet. I really enjoy reading your work. Reading your critiques helps me learn more about poetry, too. I'm just in here because it's so fun, at this point.
Thanks. But oh, that will be a reputation I have to live up to. Hoping I could cope up.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)
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Tobewankenobe
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Post by Tobewankenobe »

ReyvrexQuestor Reyes wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 20:07
Tobewankenobe wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 15:30 You're such a good poet. I really enjoy reading your work. Reading your critiques helps me learn more about poetry, too. I'm just in here because it's so fun, at this point.
Thanks. But oh, that will be a reputation I have to live up to. Hoping I could cope up.
I believe you will definitely live up to it! Every day I'm on here makes me happier I joined!
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes »

Tobewankenobe wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 21:24
ReyvrexQuestor Reyes wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 20:07
Tobewankenobe wrote: 25 Jan 2020, 15:30 You're such a good poet. I really enjoy reading your work. Reading your critiques helps me learn more about poetry, too. I'm just in here because it's so fun, at this point.
Thanks. But oh, that will be a reputation I have to live up to. Hoping I could cope up.
I believe you will definitely live up to it! Every day I'm on here makes me happier I joined!
The best thing here is the staff of top-notch editors that will hone your grammar and writing prowess. Oh, there's the money, but forget about that -- the love of it is the root of all evil, someone said, not me though.

-------
Give my regards to Luke Skywalker...or, I mean to Princess Leia.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)
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Curlyheadade
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Post by Curlyheadade »

The poem was good, it rhymes but the lines kinda threw me off with what it was about. I just think that if should be a little more clearer with the lines and what the intended topic is. The line “like petal’s softest touch” the repetition also threw me off with again what it was about. Also the last line in the first stanza should’ve started the second stanza off so the repetition affect that you were going for would make more sense
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Latest Review: Journey by Lindsay Schuster
Reading Device: 1400697484

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes »

Curlyheadade wrote: 29 Jan 2020, 19:13 The poem was good, it rhymes but the lines kinda threw me off with what it was about. I just think that if should be a little more clearer with the lines and what the intended topic is. The line “like petal’s softest touch” the repetition also threw me off with again what it was about. Also the last line in the first stanza should’ve started the second stanza off so the repetition affect that you were going for would make more sense
A Triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and the 2nd and 8th lines do as well. The rhyme scheme is simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.


The ABaAabAB rhyme scheme is applied thus:

Like petals' softest touch,------- A---- 1st
Felt down deep in my soul,------ B---- 2nd
The breeze caressed as much,-- a
Like petals' softest touch;------- A---- 4th

Your lips I've known did such,-- a
With kisses that I stole,--------- b
Like petals' softest touch,------ A---- 7th
Felt down deep in my soul.---- B---- 8th

Thanks for your comment. You see, the format is regulated by the above pattern, that is, if we want this to be called a Triolet.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)
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