Till the Moon Falls

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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thisgirl818
Posts: 73
Joined: 06 Apr 2018, 05:02
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Till the Moon Falls

Post by thisgirl818 »

I know you have forgotten
By the look in your eyes
How strange I seem to be
When I blurted "I love you till the moon falls."
I envy the way how fast it was
For you to forget
You were once mine
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Oneka Quamina-Miguel
Posts: 29
Joined: 30 Mar 2020, 12:24
Currently Reading: Project Tau
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Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-oneka-quamina-miguel.html
Latest Review: Zeus Defied by Rez Khan

Post by Oneka Quamina-Miguel »

Where do I begin? I love this original piece.

According to the speaker, it could have been the kind of love that lasts. The poem strongly suggests that this love is unrequited.

The speaker or voice in the poem also seems to want to forget as easily as the person who is the object of line 1 and line 6.

I love the way the poem uses "I". It forces some questions such as :

1. Was the person aware of this love also?

2. Is line 7 a fact or is it just in the mind of the speaker?

The voice suggests a very subjective view of the situation. It is a nice poem. I love it!
Latest Review: Zeus Defied by Rez Khan
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Drakka Reader
Posts: 182
Joined: 02 Jan 2020, 16:27
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Latest Review: Eternal Bones by Jon State

Post by Drakka Reader »

A very short but emotional poem! Good job, and it gets the point across quickly and efficiently!
Latest Review: Eternal Bones by Jon State
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