Abiyamo (Motherhood)

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Riporta
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Joined: 30 May 2018, 17:29
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Abiyamo (Motherhood)

Post by Riporta »

Sweating unsweetened sweat
Sweetening her sweating soul
Sweat sourcing sweet in sweat
Stressing sweat to save her seed
.

Sweat sweetens saving the son
Sweating to save him sweat
Sweat sweetens if son doesn't sweat
So is Son, when not stressed
.

Spending saturdays sweating under the sun
Sacrificing Sunday service selling
Seven days search for the son's survival
Ceases several societal socials
.

Suffering in silence
Serving and starving
Starving and smiling
Smiling in struggle
.

Struggle gives her scars
Scars degrade her status
Status makes her sweat
Sweat makes her son smile
.
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Jacktone Ogada
Posts: 277
Joined: 27 Feb 2020, 00:34
Currently Reading: A Cobbler's Tale
Bookshelf Size: 45
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jacktone-ogada.html
Latest Review: The King of May by Matthew Tysz

Post by Jacktone Ogada »

Wonderful use of assonance, consonance and word play. S, s, s... Wonderful but packed with a heavy message on the sacrifices of motherhood.
:tiphat: Lead by reading :techie-studyinggray:
Latest Review: The King of May by Matthew Tysz
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Jacktone Ogada
Posts: 277
Joined: 27 Feb 2020, 00:34
Currently Reading: A Cobbler's Tale
Bookshelf Size: 45
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jacktone-ogada.html
Latest Review: The King of May by Matthew Tysz

Post by Jacktone Ogada »

:clap: :clap: :clap: Wonderful use of assonance, consonance and word play. S, s, s... Wonderful but packed with a heavy message on the sacrifices of motherhood.
:tiphat: Lead by reading :techie-studyinggray:
Latest Review: The King of May by Matthew Tysz
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