Review by R_Reader1 -- Dying Well by Susan Ducharme Hoben

R_Reader1 · Post by **R_Reader1** » 13 Jun 2020, 08:41

[Following is a volunteer review of "Dying Well" by Susan Ducharme Hoben.]

4 out of 4 stars

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In Dying Well: Our Journey of Love and Loss, Susan Ducharme Hoben shares her experience caring for a loved one with a terminal illness. Bruce, her husband, is diagnosed with esophageal cancer after a tumor is discovered at the juncture of his esophagus and stomach. Following his physician’s recommendation, Bruce undergoes a course of chemotherapy, and the treatment goes well. It looks like Bruce is in the clear until his doctor discovers that the cancer has metastasized. Following this revelation, Bruce foregoes more radiation, preferring quality of life to quantity of life. With the cancer ravaging his body, Bruce and Susan embark on a quest to live life to the fullest for as long as possible. Bruce retires from work and spends as much time as possible doing what he loves most with his family and friends by his side.

I liked everything about this book. What I liked most is Susan’s candor and positive attitude. She wholeheartedly believes in living life to the fullest, regardless of the circumstances. Following Bruce’s diagnosis, Susan makes it her mission to spend as much time with him as possible. They do the things they have always loved to do. They visit their children and grandchildren, spend a weekend in New York City, and entertain family and friends at their home. When it becomes evident that Bruce could die within a few days, Susan helps plan a final get-together for him. Also, she turns his memorial service into a celebration of his life. She wants everyone to remember Bruce as a loving husband, devoted father, and jokester, not as a helpless, cancer victim. This is the only book I have ever read that radiates so much positivity about the process of dying.

Despite her best efforts to remain upbeat, Susan still experiences the feelings of grief, anger, and sadness associated with the imminent death of a loved one. While in New York City, she sees two individuals who are obese waiting to buy ice cream. She becomes upset because life is not fair. Her health-conscious husband is going to die while those who are not as health-conscious can continue living. Susan also has a difficult time imagining her life without Bruce. I like that Susan includes brief snippets that highlight her unpleasant feelings. It makes it easier for me to empathize with her experience.

I would strongly encourage individuals who are dealing with the imminent death of a loved one to read this book. Susan’s story demystifies the process of dying and highlights the value of hospice care. It has prompted me to think deeply about death and explore topics that I have not given much thought, like advanced directives and end-of-life care. If you believe that everything should be done to preserve human life, regardless of the prognosis and the quality of life that may result, then you probably should not read this book.

Overall, I give Susan’s book a four out of four stars. Her story-telling skills are superb. Susan uses clear, simple language that is easy to understand, and she arranges the events leading up to Bruce’s death in chronological order. Her book is exceptionally well-edited, which is not surprising. She openly acknowledges the individuals who helped her write it.

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Dying Well
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