Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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Argentinosaurus
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Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by Argentinosaurus »

Been there. Done that.

Basically being in a relationship with a person who doesn't read at all, unless it's a life-threatning situation for her(passing a college exam) was just a living hell. Although she was really sweet and compassionate, most of the time she seemed to lack the ability to walk in another's shoes. When a controversial topic or conversation came up, she'd explode and we wouldn't be able to thoughtfully analyze different parts to the arguement. It was as if she couldn't see another worldview but her own.
And it only made it worse that she was a movie addict. And not that I have a problem with movies, of course I love them. To me, film is just another expression of literature. But she wasn't into independent, foreign, or critical films. What she was ardently attached to were disney movies and cheesey hollywood types that always have have the same story plot.
I couldn't take it! Being with her was an intellectual drain. And it's just disappointing, because she and we could've been so much more if she'd only have the passion for it.

So in a nutshell, no, I can't be in a relationship with a non-reader. Like the famous post-ditatorship phrase from Argentina goes "Nunca Más" -- "Never again"
pi_r_round
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Post by pi_r_round »

Absolutely not. Did you know that some of THOSE people have never met Queen Elizabeth or golfed with Ben Hogan?
I had the very unpleasant experience of being within earshot of some commoner who pronounced the last syllable
in Illinois, "noise." I was so revulsed, I never went back to that porn store again.

-- 30 Jul 2012, 01:36 --

I was married to my first wife for 8 years. During the entire marriage, she probably read 5 or 6 books. I'm sure
they were all read while we were on vacation. She read them to kill time at airports while we waited for our
flight. She is incredibly beautiful, in fact what I would call a "stunner." I loved her very much.
The fact that she isnt a reader never occurred to me. I have to admit I'm "old school" when it comes to women.
There not supposed to be intellectual or smart. Women in the back seat, men in the front. Men are not only
allowed to cheat, they are obligated. And women are never, ever allowed the same privilege.
My views have moderated somewhat over the years, but the larger "paradigm" is still in place. Not only could I
date a pretty little thing who doesn't read I could fall in love with her.
I have to include this last thought, because it is so illustrative. There are two women in the public eye who the
media seem to love to villify. Saran Palin and Nancy Grace. Apparently one of them is an airhead(Sweet Sarah) and
other a real "ball ballbrea***(Nancypie). I have to laugh every time a reporter or "media heavyweight" weighs in
on their supposed "sins." Having a smile like Sarah or a front porch like Nancy doesn't bother me at all. Daddy still
loves you.
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Tamispeare
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Post by Tamispeare »

Argentinosaurus wrote:Been there. Done that.

Basically being in a relationship with a person who doesn't read at all, unless it's a life-threatning situation for her(passing a college exam) was just a living hell. Although she was really sweet and compassionate, most of the time she seemed to lack the ability to walk in another's shoes. When a controversial topic or conversation came up, she'd explode and we wouldn't be able to thoughtfully analyze different parts to the arguement. It was as if she couldn't see another worldview but her own.
And it only made it worse that she was a movie addict. And not that I have a problem with movies, of course I love them. To me, film is just another expression of literature. But she wasn't into independent, foreign, or critical films. What she was ardently attached to were disney movies and cheesey hollywood types that always have have the same story plot.
I couldn't take it! Being with her was an intellectual drain. And it's just disappointing, because she and we could've been so much more if she'd only have the passion for it.

So in a nutshell, no, I can't be in a relationship with a non-reader. Like the famous post-ditatorship phrase from Argentina goes "Nunca Más" -- "Never again"
I can feel your pain...Sounds horrible...
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GenThomas
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Post by GenThomas »

My boyfriend reads, but only what seems (to me) to be obscure science-fiction. He rarely grudgingly accepts recommendations and then never gets to them. I take his books and read them, but then he usually does not wish to discuss them. I love him, but it is really trying to not be able to communicate with him topics that I am so passionate about. I admit I have thrown tantrums in the past, but not to much avail. I guess it depends how deep the love runs and whether or not you have other things in common. Opposites may attract, but communication needs to reign.
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jendhancock23
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Post by jendhancock23 »

My boyfriend doesn't read but that doesn't mean he is not intellectual or that we cannot carry on a conversation. My biggest challenge is that he does not understand how I can lay on the couch and read for hours or how I can get so involved in a story that "isn't real". Frustrating.
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RoseOfTheDawn
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Post by RoseOfTheDawn »

I can't imagine caring about a man who was stupid. If a man doesn't read, he can't be very clever! :lol:
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Fran
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Post by Fran »

RoseOfTheDawn wrote:I can't imagine caring about a man who was stupid. If a man doesn't read, he can't be very clever! :lol:
@Rose
You are dismissing a very large % of the human race there, personally I care about a lot of people (men & women) who have no interest whatsoever in books or reading but they have other interests, skills & expertiese of which I am totally ignorant.
IMO not being a reader of itself does not make a person stupid nor does being a reader of itself make a person clever, intelligent or smart.
We fade away, but vivid in our eyes
A world is born again that never dies.
- My Home by Clive James
pi_r_round
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Post by pi_r_round »

Reading doesn't doesn't necessarily endow you with the traits of the saint or the sinner. But it does make your
chances of winning a Spelling B in Grade 4 alot better than a fellow student who still takes issue with the equation
for finding the area of a circle because he's never eaten a square pie. I would like to give credit to the soothsayer
who said this, but his name escapes me. I remember he said he was tired of reading the Yellow Pages. You know,
if all he reads is the Yellow Pages, that means he probably he doesnt have a library card. And if that's true, he must
be an idiot. And if he's an idiot, I'm an idiot too. See? Reading is bad for you.
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jasemonkey
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Post by jasemonkey »

Not a chance. It might not be fair, but it would drive me crazy if I couldn't discuss books with my SO.
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GenThomas
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Post by GenThomas »

Is it a paradox? Can the other person not be an intellectual if they do not read? What if they write instead? As if they were a philosopher or something?
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C0ldf1re
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Post by C0ldf1re »

GenThomas wrote:... Can the other person not be an intellectual if they do not read? What if they write instead?...
I can't think of any good writer who is not also a reader.
8) The hedgehogs have eaten the breakfast. The rose has wilted. And I've put my trousers on. 8) -------------------- (See Post #1501)
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GenThomas
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Post by GenThomas »

Point noted... I know some engineers who are, but that's about it. They hate readig but we still carry on meaningful conversations. One of my exes was an electrical engineer and I loved talking to him.
Sorry for being so stubborn, I have been trying to think this through since I read it.
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Willou
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Post by Willou »

The simple and short answer is: no. I have found that people who don't read are just not as interesting to talk to as people who do.
Geneen Karstens
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Post by Geneen Karstens »

I have an earlier post telling of my ex who did not like my reading and made it difficult for me to enjoy it( by the way that is not why we split) .HOWEVER, my best friend doesn't read. You won't find a book, magazine, or even a newspaper in her house. But if I have a problem she is the first one there to help me or just let me know she cares. She's fun to be with ..she likes to play cards... And we have had many a good time together and shared many tough ones. You need to be with people and socialize sometimes, also. I'm not very articulate, but I think you know what I mean. Books are wonderful..I love to read...but there are other things in this world besides.
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GenThomas
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Post by GenThomas »

Bravo! That's the sentiment I was trying to communicate :D
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