How early does it start?

[cookiedough]

If we learned good coping mechanisms at a young age on how to deal with our emotions, there would be less adults feeling trapped in their emotions. We can always benefit from being understanding of one another and being supportive in this world.

[Star_and_Buck]

Here parents play a big role. A kid listens to all things good as well as bad things but he really knows a little. Then parents should step in to enhance the mindset of the children and not to change the mind wwhen he goes towards wrong way.

[Kelyn]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> I'd say the way you relay a message determines how your audience receives
> it. As children, we may have listened to words of assurance or dismissal.
> But how we responded to those words was determined by the tone used and in
> which situation. The remedies given can be used by parents to help their
> children, they are not limited to age but to an individual's condition and
> its severity.

joenduga12 wrote:
> To me children have ways to relief their anxieties supposedly different
> from the ways adults do. These greatly depends on the facts that their
> level of anxieties and worries are lower, as well as their basis for having
> them. By and large, what they need from their parent or guidance is an
> assurance and never a dismissal.

sn-24994256 wrote:

> It is indeed unfortunate that parents/guardians are at times part of the problem. By
> not listening and dealing with the child's anxieties, the child learns to hold it in.
> The anxieties are not trivil to a child and they should be taught how to deal with
> them.

Although I would agree that children have ways to deal with anxiety that (many) parents do not, such as free-play, for instance, that doesn't mean the anxiety instantly goes away. Also, why do many parents/people (no offense intended) think that because they are children, their levels or types of anxiety are lower just because they are different? A bully is a bully is a bully, for instance, whether it's at school or in an office. As you said, sn-24994256, to the child, their anxieties are not trivial. How they are viewed and how the parents respond is pivotal in how the child learns to deal with anxiety themselves.

[Kelyn]

LuciusM wrote:
> As people grow, ideas and philosophies that had been instilled in them start to reflect on a reality perspective. > Though they still remember what they were told, the magnitude of what they encounter forces them to act
> differently.

Alice Ngugi wrote:
> My mum never encouraged us to talk about our fears. She would reprimand us for looking sad and would tell > > us that we are children and do not or should not have anything to worry about. As I grew older I realized it > affects the way I talk about how I feel. It took me a while to get to a place of 'vulnerability' to talk about my anxieties. It starts at the very age we start experiencing all the different emotions.

adiawayman wrote:
> Growing up, my parents were very much against showing signs of distress and it created a lot of emotional > problems in my siblings and me. I think teaching a child how to express anxiety, depression, anger etc. in a
> healthy way and to learn how to cope with those feelings is much healthier. Not only that, it sets them up for > success as an adult where stress becomes an everyday thing.

While I agree that as we get older our perspective on reality changes, I believe the methods we are taught as children to help us deal with anxiety, fear, and sadness/depression, are often still valid options. But that all hinges on whether or not our parents/guardians taught us to deal with them in the first place. It is upsetting to know that your parents actually reprimanded you for expressing these feelings!! (No offense is intended.) I know that parents 'back when' had different attitudes about things. Still, it is mind-boggling to think that they believed having their children suppress negative emotions would cause no negative consequences in their futures! I agree completely that teaching children to handle these emotions in a healthy way is far better and helps them to manage them later in life. It is unfortunate that even today, there are parents who don't do this...or worse, want to help but don't know how.

I appreciate all of you dropping by and sharing your thoughts with us. It is appreciated.

[Kelyn]

Tochukwu Godson wrote:
> From my personal experiences, I've not dealt with anxiety by being passive about it. Secondly, I feel the way > we handle this situation differs from individuals. For me, I manage stress, anxiety, and worry by confiding to > my closest ally.

Kola+wole wrote:
> The practices can definitely help children. Having understanding guide will lower stress and anxiety levels.

Elvis Best wrote:
> Yes I beleive the practices can help children. In this modern world of social media, even kids are not > protected from the external pressures of the world anymore. However, I believe the book and practices would > have to be tweaked to meet the level of kids.

Vine001 wrote:
> That's a nice question. I definitely think that we learn to bottle up things from our childhood. The remedies in > this book can be used by both parents and children.

Just like adults, children can learn to manage stress in ways that work best for them as individuals (such as confiding in a friend). Elvis, you are absolutely right about it being difficult to insulate our children from the pressures of the outside world since so many of them grow up with social media practically from birth. That can even become a source of anxiety itself with cyber-bullying or even with Mom and Dad posting pics that their 'friends' tease them about. I agree that some of the practices in the book would probably need to be adjusted to a level that a child could understand. However, they could still be highly effective in helping them manage their anxieties, fears, and even depression.

Thanks to all of you for stopping in and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it!

[Kelyn]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> joenduga12 wrote:
> > To me children have ways to relief their anxieties supposedly different
> > from the ways adults do. These greatly depends on the facts that their
> > level of anxieties and worries are lower, as well as their basis for having
> > them. By and large, what they need from their parent or guidance is an
> > assurance and never a dismissal.
>
> I disagree, children are not old enough to discern stress and anxiety. Parents have a
> role to guide and take their kids to a doctor when they realize they have a problem.
> If children will only receive assurance from their parents, they may end up growing
> without the moral mettle required to face the real world out there. Dismissal, or in
> a better word, correction, is granted for actions or behaviors that parents deem
> wrong.

I think we have a bit of confusion here. 'Dismissal' and 'correction,' in this context, mean entirely different things. By 'dismissal,' we mean that the parent chooses to act as if the child's anxieties and fears are meaningless or not deserving of attention. Worse still, they may actually encourage the child to suppress them. 'Correction,' as you said Joseph, is an action a parent would take if the child's behavior were 'wrong' or inappropriate. Personally, I do not believe it is at all inappropriate for a child to express their fears and anxieties to their parents and to receive guidance or reassurance, never dismissal. Obviously, that is only my opinion. You are, of course, equally entitled to yours. (No offense intended.)

I appreciate your sharing your thoughts with us and taking part in the discussion! Thanks for dropping in!

[Hibashaikh1509]

I think you're absolutely right @Kelyn. In fact, children should be taught on what it is like to fall in depression from an early age so that they do not fall victim to it.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

I believe children learn better by observation. They see how their parents react to stress and anxiety. Although a child may not be able to distinguish between the two, they easily notice a point of distress when it comes to their parents. It leads me to my question, should the children be taught how to deal with stress and anxiety using such books as Gustavo's, or should they see from our examples as their parents, elders, and guardians?

[Chiawa]

From personal observation, anxiety in children can be easily dedicated in their behavioral pattern and communication within their peers. It can also be controlled more efficiently using affirmative words, a little more attention and encouragement.

[Nonso Samuelson]

Nerea wrote:
> Good question. I think the practices can also help children because it's at
> a tender age that one starts to learn things that will help them make
> better decisions as they grow to become adults. Notice this proverb that
> says; "Train a boy/child in the way he should go; Even when he grows
> old he will not depart from it." So the practices can help the
> children as well. Anxiety or stress does not respect age.


I agree the principles for dealing with anxiety in this book is not age-dependent. In the part of the world where I come from, there is an astronomically high rate of anxiety in children (especially male children who are scorned for behaving like girls whenever they express their worries). I actually think starting early to identify these patterns and deal with them makes for more wholesome adult down the line.

[Sou Hi]

I'm afraid that to some adults, it's the children who are the source of their stress. And of course, since the adults have their hands full worrying about their problems, they would not pay attention to a child's if they can help it. Dismissal is the easiest and fastest way to ignore an extra issue. However, the grownups don't know that even children have their own anxiety, which could drive them to isolation and feeling abandoned. Some examples of this: a kid who recently had a new sibling, a bullied child, a kid whose family is too busy to take care of them properly, etc. Any of those cases can lead to depression and can haunt the children for years. So the sooner the kids are cared for the better, and if the methods work for the adults they probably do to a child.

[Fem187]

Anxiety and stress I believe start from childhood. But the child quickly forget his troubles and goes out to play at the slightest opportunity. So the effects of stress is minimal. An adult however continue to ruminate over things he should forget and goes to play as the child. The impact of prolonged stress weigh heavily on his shoulders as he grow older. Hence, the complications that follow stress manifest more as you grow older.

[gatuguta2030]

Anxiety and stress are experienced by both adults and children.
However, in children, the impact is not that serious like in adults.
As children progress in life in terms of age, they should be taught how to handle stress and anxiety.

[Kelyn]

Hibashaikh1509 wrote:
> I think you're absolutely right @Kelyn. In fact, children should be taught what it is like to fall in depression from > an early age so that they do not fall victim to it.

Chiawa wrote:
> From personal observation, anxiety in children can be easily dedicated in their behavioral pattern and
> communication within their peers. It can also be controlled more efficiently using affirmative words, a little > more attention and encouragement.

Depression can result from unaddressed and unresolved fears and anxieties and can, I agree, be detected through children's behavioral patterns. You are correct that some children will more readily talk to their peers r than to their parents. In a very large way, this is unfortunate, because seldom will their peers have the skills needed to truly help them. They can, at best, be an outlet for communication and frustration. Parents and guardians can positively affect the child with their reactions (affirmative words, a bit more attention, and encouragement, as you said Chiawa) when their child confides in them. The earlier it is addressed, the better for the child and his/her future.

Thank you both for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

[Kelyn]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> I believe children learn better by observation. They see how their parents react to stress and anxiety. Although > a child may not be able to distinguish between the two, they easily notice a point of distress when it comes to > their parents. It leads me to my question, should the children be taught how to deal with stress and anxiety > using such books as Gustavo's, or should they see from our examples as their parents, elders, and guardians?

You are correct that observation is key to a child's learning. This is the case from birth and onward through their childhood. They do indeed see how their parents react to stress and anxiety, whether that reaction be well-handled or dealt with for the worse (i.e., alcohol, drug use, etc.) I'm not suggesting we hand the child Gustoavo's book and say, "Here, read this. It will help you overcome your anxiety." The child would, most likely, not even understand what that meant. Nor am I saying that learning from the example of well-adjusted parents, elders, and guardians should be in any way underestimated. It can be a powerful force in a child's life. I am saying that the practices given in the book are ones that can help children as well as the adults in their lives. In a perfect scenario, the parent would be able to deal with their own stress and anxieties in a positive way and pass that ability on to their children. Failing that, this book's practices can be adjusted to a child's level to aid in the parents helping the child to deal with their fears and anxieties.