How early does it start?

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 13 Aug 2020, 16:32

anaplasticCerebrum wrote:
> I think it's impossible to quantify when too much repression creates a
> change in ourselves. It's a sad fact. The best we can hope for is good
> parents to let us freely act out and process our emotions and ideas, but
> even this isn't enough. I think it's part of the human experience to have
> sorrow and feelings unique to you that can't be overcome. Perhaps that idea
> is damaging though, and denies room for change. Reading this book helped me
> face that idea and question whether things I consider immutable about
> myself are really so hard to change.

I know that the authors' counsel about how things can change. I'm glad to hear that it's given you cause for thought. In a perfect world, every child would have parents that appropriately responded to his/her anxieties and fears without attempting to suppress them, including letting them act them out and helping the child to process them. Thankfully, the methods in this book can be 'adjusted' to help parents teach their children to handle those fears and not, as you spoke about, suppress them. I appreciate you stopping in and sharing your thoughts with us, thank you!

Aan Granados · Post by **Aan Granados** » 15 Aug 2020, 03:00

What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.

Joseph_ngaruiya · Post by **Joseph_ngaruiya** » 15 Aug 2020, 03:09

Mmg8464 wrote:
> What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our
> society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and
> teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.
I agree with your statement. But today, children are also facing less parental time. The busyness of work has left them stressed and anxious without knowing where to seek help. I think parents should find time for their children from a tender age.

OB Brian · Post by **OB Brian** » 15 Aug 2020, 05:11

LuciusM wrote:
> As people grow, ideas and philosophies that had been instilled in them
> start to reflect on a reality perspective. Though they still remember what
> they were told, the magnitude of what they encounter forces them to act
> differently.
Very true. It is imperative, therefore, to encourage positive thinking in people from a tender age

AnnaKathleen · Post by **AnnaKathleen** » 15 Aug 2020, 10:46

Kelyn wrote:
> I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological
> difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born
> worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as
> overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is
> supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or
> dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to
> themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into
> what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these
> also practices that could help children?
I completely agree, children can have the condition but it is overlooked. If we have the discussion of mental health earlier and in a healthy fashion then a lot of problems could be addressed without fear or stigma or waiting.

AntonelaMaria · Post by **AntonelaMaria** » 15 Aug 2020, 13:04

Wonderful forum question!! I think that most of the time adult dismiss children's worries by diminishing them as minor or irrelevant. It definitely needs to be addressed when it occurs.

Alya17 · Post by **Alya17** » 15 Aug 2020, 19:58

I agree that we are taught to internalise anxieties or other mental issues very early in life. I think parents, in some cases, are not really equipped to handle their children's anxieties. I think it's often worse in families who have financial struggles or are trying to acclimatise to a new area or occupation etc. For families like those, children's anxieties or insecurities may seem so insignificant in comparison to what they as parents are going through and that translates into the children thinking they're being a nuisance or a bother.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 15 Aug 2020, 23:30

Mmg8464 wrote:
> What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our
> society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and
> teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.

Yes, parents should always try their best to make time for their kids. Childhood is a very delicate phase in the life of children and steps should be taken so that they do not feel that they are alone during that time. Communication with them is the key to good parenting.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 15 Aug 2020, 23:32

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Mmg8464 wrote:
> > What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our
> > society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and
> > teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.
> I agree with your statement. But today, children are also facing less parental time.
> The busyness of work has left them stressed and anxious without knowing where to seek
> help. I think parents should find time for their children from a tender age.

Yes, being busy is one thing but parents should always make time for their kids. Preferably at dinner or during breakfast. Communication with your kids is a great way for both to reduce anxiety and stress. The bond of family and trust created can help both the parent and child to think better things in the future.

diamonnd · Post by **diamonnd** » 16 Aug 2020, 11:35

This is great topic to discuss. I think it's important to teach children how to handle stress and it's equally as important to recognize that children do have worries that are just as valid as adult worries.

mmm17 · Post by **mmm17** » 16 Aug 2020, 19:36

Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them constructively.

Joseph_ngaruiya · Post by **Joseph_ngaruiya** » 17 Aug 2020, 07:34

diamonnd wrote:
> This is great topic to discuss. I think it's important to teach children
> how to handle stress and it's equally as important to recognize that
> children do have worries that are just as valid as adult worries.
I agree that child development requires continuous parental guidance. That way, a child can grow with confidence. It's also easier for these children to present their stress and anxiety issues to their parents or friends.

Joseph_ngaruiya · Post by **Joseph_ngaruiya** » 17 Aug 2020, 07:36

mmm17 wrote:
> Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never
> early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them
> constructively.
Parents can also equip their children with affirmations that can help boost their moods or self-awareness. If they are taught practical guidelines like the ones featured in Kinry's book, they can grow to be responsible and unlikely to be severely affected by stress and anxiety.

mraphael1 · Post by **mraphael1** » 17 Aug 2020, 12:29

I think that children can use different methods taught to them by an adult but also that children have their own relief methods. Many times children can be more in tune with their anxiety and know how to deal with it better than humans.

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 17 Aug 2020, 22:26

Mmg8464 wrote: ↑15 Aug 2020, 03:00 What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑15 Aug 2020, 03:09 Mmg8464 wrote:
> What is important is for parents to listen to their children. In our
> society, children are more stressed than the olden times. Parents and
> teachers should be more sensitive to changes in behaviour.
I agree with your statement. But today, children are also facing less parental time. The busyness of work has left them stressed and anxious without knowing where to seek help. I think parents should find time for their children from a tender age.

OB Brian wrote: ↑15 Aug 2020, 05:11 LuciusM wrote:
> As people grow, ideas and philosophies that had been instilled in them
> start to reflect on a reality perspective. Though they still remember what
> they were told, the magnitude of what they encounter forces them to act
> differently.
Very true. It is imperative, therefore, to encourage positive thinking in people from a tender age

Both are very true. Bullies have been around forever, but today's children have other stresses piled on top of typical ones - standardized testing, social media and being bombarded with images of war and now COVID. Their behavior is not going to be 'typical' at the best of times, but the parent(s) are the ones who can best tell if something more negative is going on. In a perfect world, every parent would spend as much time as possible with their children but now they have to make quality where they may not have quantity. Some of the techniques in the book can help children calm themselves and handle stresses when their parent isn't available. Thanks to all of you for stopping in and sharing your thoughts with us!