How early does it start?

[Kelyn]

Kelyn wrote:
> I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological
> difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born
> worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as
> overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is
> supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or
> dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to
> themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into
> what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these
> also practices that could help children?
I completely agree, children can have the condition but it is overlooked. If we have the discussion of mental health earlier and in a healthy fashion then a lot of problems could be addressed without fear or stigma or waiting.

Wonderful forum question!! I think that most of the time adult dismiss children's worries by diminishing them as minor or irrelevant. It definitely needs to be addressed when it occurs.

Talking with children before or as soon as problems start to occur rather than dismissing them as overreaction, etc. would help children immensely to avoid both fear and stigma both inside and outside the home. Teaching them methods such as self-talk, and breathing techniques before problems occur can help them handle fear, doubt, and other types of anxiety when the parent is not available. Thank you both for dropping in and sharing your thoughts. It is appreciated!

[Kelyn]

I agree that we are taught to internalise anxieties or other mental issues very early in life. I think parents, in some cases, are not really equipped to handle their children's anxieties. I think it's often worse in families who have financial struggles or are trying to acclimatise to a new area or occupation etc. For families like those, children's anxieties or insecurities may seem so insignificant in comparison to what they as parents are going through and that translates into the children thinking they're being a nuisance or a bother.

So true, and even more of a problem today with COVID and the loss of jobs it is causing. All the anxieties this cause the parents, not being able to make rent for example, make them less able to recognize that their children's stresses and fears are just as real as theirs. What feels like dismissal to a child may actually equate to a lack of knowledge on the part of the parent, or the fact that their own stresses are overwhelming. Unfortunately, the child can pick up on that and feel they are being a burden. The techniques in the book cannot cure this, but they can help the child shore up their own sense of balance when their parents are unable to give them the help they need. In this case, the techniques would need to be taught before the difficulties begin. Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts. It is appreciated.

[Kelyn]

Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them constructively.

I think that children can use different methods taught to them by an adult but also that children have their own relief methods. Many times children can be more in tune with their anxiety and know how to deal with it better than humans.

Children can learn to recognize and deal with their anxieties and fears if they are taught effective techniques early, before the problems come to the fore. Yes, they do have different methods of handling it, such as play, but while that may help it fade into the background in the moment, it's not going to make it go away. They still need to be empowered to deal with it, especially if the parents are not available much of the time to help. The techniques in the book can help with that. Thank you both for sharing your thoughts with us.

[Howlan]

Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them constructively.

Yes, children should be properly aware that stress is not something to be taken lightly. Stress, when it accumulates over a long time, can cause serious effects. So parents should keep an eye on any stress on their child.

[Howlan]

diamonnd wrote:
> This is great topic to discuss. I think it's important to teach children
> how to handle stress and it's equally as important to recognize that
> children do have worries that are just as valid as adult worries.
I agree that child development requires continuous parental guidance. That way, a child can grow with confidence. It's also easier for these children to present their stress and anxiety issues to their parents or friends.

Yes, children have a bond of trust with their parents which makes them talking to easier. They must be properly talked to and there must be a feeling of confidence when they talk to you.

[Howlan]

mmm17 wrote:
> Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never
> early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them
> constructively.
Parents can also equip their children with affirmations that can help boost their moods or self-awareness. If they are taught practical guidelines like the ones featured in Kinry's book, they can grow to be responsible and unlikely to be severely affected by stress and anxiety.

Communication between a parent and child about all day to day issues is a get way to reduce anxiety and keep the balance between them. In this way, any odd behavior related to stress can be recognized and you can solve the reasons for the stress together.

[Howlan]

I think that children can use different methods taught to them by an adult but also that children have their own relief methods. Many times children can be more in tune with their anxiety and know how to deal with it better than humans.

Yes, stress is something we all unconsciously avoid. Children do not have ay natural stress coping mechanisms and that can mean they ignore the problem altogether. it may later become accumulated can be a reason of stress. That is why a regular communication with them is required so that you can pick up the anxiety in children a help them solve it.

[rachna_r]

The ultimate personality of a being develops from what he learnt in his childhood. Those details become the basic behaviour of a person. I believe parents too play a great role in how their child becomes. The book talks about several remedies, and theses remedies should be followed as a parent too.

[Nelson Reviews]

Anxiety can only start when someone starts the interpretation of thoughts in terms of what to expect out of a situation (Anxiety is intense worry and fear about future events and occurring events)

So, if a child is experiencing Anxiety it means the natural methods can work even better than in adults because it is easier to manipulate a child's thought than the adult's thought.

[rahilshajahan]

I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these also practices that could help children?

The stress needn't rise steadily when told something is of less importance. The parents shouldn't dismiss the topic but 'show' them that these psychological difficulties were undergone by themselves at a young age.

[Samgum50]

I definitely think these practices can help children. Because learning them from an earlier age will make it easier for them to find what works for them. Plus it reduces the stigma associated with anxiety and stress.

[Laura Lee]

This is an excellent question and I agree with you that, just because the person anxious is a child, his/her fears should not be dismissed. Rather, childhood is the time to learn tools on how to handle stress and anxiety, so yes. I think many of these practices can be adapted for helping children.

In my own experience as a mother, I can say that the largest red flag that a child is anxious or under stress is if he/she squabbles and bickers with siblings. Children don't always have the outlets (or the tools) adults have for dealing with stress. Taking it out on a sibling is a "safe" outlet. If your kids are constantly bickering and squabbling, it's NOT normal. Try to find the source of their stress. Take care of THAT, and sibling bickering goes away.

[Kelyn]

Anxiety and stress can affect children from a very young age. It is never early to start recognizing one’s feelings and learning to deal with them constructively.

Yes, children should be properly aware that stress is not something to be taken lightly. Stress, when it accumulates over a long time, can cause serious effects. So parents should keep an eye on any stress on their child.

diamonnd wrote:
> This is great topic to discuss. I think it's important to teach children
> how to handle stress and it's equally as important to recognize that
> children do have worries that are just as valid as adult worries.
I agree that child development requires continuous parental guidance. That way, a child can grow with confidence. It's also easier for these children to present their stress and anxiety issues to their parents or friends.

Yes, children have a bond of trust with their parents which makes them talking to easier. They must be properly talked to and there must be a feeling of confidence when they talk to you.

Unfortunately, it isn't that simple. Although both are very real, adults experience stress and anxiety differently than children do. If the child has not been taught to be forthcoming in sharing with the parent, stresses and fears in children are often difficult for the parent to sense. Often, all they have to go on is the child's behavior, and a parent who is distracted by their own anxieties can easily miss such cues. That's one reason the self-help techniques in the book can be so helpful. If the child has been taught these techniques (the ones suitable for children, that is) he or she can self-soothe until the parent is available and aware.

[Maconstewart]

As with all behavior I believe we can help children learn how to correctly handle stress and anxiety. If not taught how to handle it, the stresses have the potential to build up until it is too much to handle. More natural approaches are definitely preferable and doable.

[Awesomeliker]

That's a great question. I believe that this book helps everyone, especially children. It's important not to let anxiety build up in a child. They need to be able to talk to someone.