Official Review: The ShoeBox Effect by Marcie J Keithley

ciecheesemeister · Post by **ciecheesemeister** » 15 Aug 2020, 00:49

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The ShoeBox Effect" by Marcie J Keithley.]

4 out of 4 stars

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The Shoebox Effect is a combination autobiography and self-help book by Marcie J. Keithley. The author was twenty-two years old in 1978. She gave birth to a daughter conceived out of wedlock. The child’s father refused to help in any way, and Marcie’s doctor insisted that the child would be better off if she were given up for adoption. The doctor told Marcie that it would be wise for her to forget that she ever gave birth to the child she relinquished. So, Marcie placed a few mementos of her daughter into a box and tied it closed with a ribbon. She realized that it was time to deal with her past on the day that her terminally ill dog went into her closet to rest and knocked several things over, including the shoebox.

I was deeply moved by Marcie’s story and utterly incensed by the callous attitudes of the attending physician and the nurse present during and after the birth. These people didn’t possess adequate emotional sensitivity to trim a hedge without traumatizing it, let alone to care for vulnerable and frightened expectant mothers. If there is a hell, there is a special place in it for Dr. Stanley and his nurse. Sadly, they were hardly the exception to the rule when it came to the treatment of unwed mothers.

The book contains suggested exercises for working through one’s own past trauma. It also contains the author’s thoughts regarding the system of closed adoption. The efforts of both children given up for adoption and birth parents who may want to reconnect with the child they gave up are stymied by a system that really does not want a reunion between the parties involved.

I give The Shoebox Effect four out of four stars. The book is well-written and compelling. It is professionally edited. I only found one minor error in the text. The author has a compassionate, informal approach. She sincerely wants to enact positive changes within the adoption system so others won’t end up suffering the way she and her daughter did.

There was nothing that I disliked about the book. I appreciated the author’s unflinching honesty in examining the events in her life that led her to making the choices she made. I also appreciated her compassion even towards those who had caused her pain, such as her daughter’s father and her own parents, whose actions left her with significant psychological scars.

I recommend this book for those who have given up children for adoption, for adopted children who are searching for their birth parents, for people who have any kind of past trauma that they would like to work through, and for anyone who simply likes reading autobiographies. However, those who might be negatively impacted by reading the harrowing truths about the adoption industry should approach this narrative with caution.

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The ShoeBox Effect
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Awesomeliker · Post by **Awesomeliker** » 19 Aug 2020, 01:07

It seems really great and thoughtful. I appreciate the author for giving the world a well written book about a topic that is rarely talked about. Well done on an amazing review!

Star_and_Buck · Post by **Star_and_Buck** » 19 Aug 2020, 02:57

This is the perfect book for me right now. Thanks for the review.

Amanda Deck · Post by **Amanda Deck** » 19 Aug 2020, 06:23

...stymied by a system that really does not want a reunion between the parties involved.

This certainly brings up a lot of questions. People adopting go into it to have a child of their own, but there's always the question of "Should we tell our little one that he/she is adopted? If so, when?"

We hear that it takes more than biology to make a parent but also that children have the right to know their birth parents. There are so many stories of children who feel there's something missing, like they know they're adopted. So do adopting parents have to go into it expecting to foster a child instead of adopt? The closed system means this child is now totally part of the adoptive family with no questions of "real parents" somewhere out there. But that leaves a sword hanging over parents' heads of their child finding out and thinking they were lied to when the parents really just considered this child their very own.

What a hard situation. With DNA testing, closed adoption doesn't seem possible anymore anyway.

jerimiahsebastian · Post by **jerimiahsebastian** » 19 Aug 2020, 06:47

I think I should check this one out! Sounds interesting!

AnnOgochukwu · Post by **AnnOgochukwu** » 19 Aug 2020, 08:04

Aww. This seems like a really good and emotional book. And I'm curious to know how the author handles her past. Adoption is a very sensitive and controversial topic.
I enjoyed reading this beautiful review.

Deepa09k · Post by **Deepa09k** » 19 Aug 2020, 10:48

Childbirth is a harrowing yet beautiful experience for many and is made possible only when the supporting members are fully dedicated. From your review, it is apparent that the author has picked up a sensitive subject and did full justice to it. Although this is not something I'd pick up to read, your review is amazing.

Doziesixtus · Post by **Doziesixtus** » 19 Aug 2020, 13:09

I appreciate the exercises that help readers walk through their past traumas. This will serve as an avenue to fully understand the crucial factors underlying the traumas.

Kola+wole · Post by **Kola+wole** » 19 Aug 2020, 17:11

I feel for the author. No source of help nor encouragement from those who should be the first to offer it. Thank goodness she was able to overcome her traumatic experience and find out in her heart to forgive. Wonderful review, our emotions were on display throughout.

Liyando · Post by **Liyando** » 19 Aug 2020, 19:50

This is a story that is very close to life out there. It is very worrying that whether this is a mistake or the right thing becomes a victim. How can it happen to a child who is looking for identity but is hit by a mistake. How can this happen? Then what do parents do about what has happened to a child. Even if it's a mistake, whether to blame the child's treatment for their environment so far. I think the most important thing is how parents should be able to educate children when they know the environment. sacrifice a child.