Movie title game

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 08 Oct 2012, 20:18

The Music Man R. Lee Ermey
Ermey(Drill Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket) plays the music man.
Ermey gives an inspiring performance. Unlike Robert Preston, who played the role originally,
Ermey doesn't really cultivate inspiration among the townfolk; he requires it. Whatever Gunny wants,
Gunny better get. They even rewrite the song, 76 Trombones. Instead of 76 Trombones and a clarinette,
Ermey's band sing "76 Trombones and a martinette", a reference to Ermey's insistence that all things are
subordinate to his edict.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 08 Oct 2012, 20:41

The Scorpion Kin - Sci-Fi thriller where a mad scientist develops a formula to turn his family into grasshoppers.

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 08 Oct 2012, 21:28

Terms of Impairment Nick Nolte Mel Gibson Zsa Zsa Gabor
Randy Travis
Reality show for celebrities with at least 5 arrests for DWI, Reckless Endangerment,
Abuse of Ethnic Police Officers, and/or Driving in the Altogether. Any combination
of 5 will qualify. Gabor isn't alive, but Britney Spears is close enough, so we gave her
the nod. She's agreed not to expose us.
Here's the deal. An hour before showtime, everyone has to drink 6 beers, 6 shots, and a bottle of ripple. During the show, the one showing the least amount of impairment while
performing a battery of routine tests wins. Some of the tests: picking your own mug shot
out of a field of ten, running a 3 legged race with a crash test dummy as a partner, picking
your friends nose, making a prank call to your probation officer and staying on the line for
at least 3 minutes without being discovered.
The winner gets their choice of 3 billable hours by an ACLU lawyer OR a chance to be cast
as a skid row drunk in an episode of Law and Order: SVU. This is reality TV on a HNL!!

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 08 Oct 2012, 22:31

Helltow - Harrowing story of a man whose car breaks down in the wilds, calls a wrecker only to find its driven by Evil Knievel.

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 12 Oct 2012, 01:13

Jailhouse Wok
Story of comedian Beni HaHa's rise from Yakuza wannabee to King of Stir Fried Fast Food. On the way up, he
does some time in SingSing, where his Wok is the talk of the jailhouse. So I guess you could say that the Jailhouse Wok has walked the walk.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 12 Oct 2012, 19:34

Lassie Come Hoe - Fascinating docu-drama about a man who becomes a world wide success by teaching dogs to be gardeners.

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 13 Oct 2012, 09:59

Godzither Loves The Haight
While plundering San Francisco, Godzilla pauses to drink from a public drinking fountain in Haight-Ashbury.
As everyone knows(except God-Z)the water in the Haight is enriched with LSD(to encourage groovy behavior).
Soon, G-Z is grooving, wearing flowers in his hair, and singing Hendrix at the top of his lungs. He is so down with
the experience that he changes his name to Godzither(the zither and the dulcimer are the grooviest instruments
in the Universe), foreswears violence, applies for and receives asylum(isn't that just insane?). It's true, Godzither
loves the Haight.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 13 Oct 2012, 19:34

Lake Plaid - Edge-of-your-seat thriller about a giant mutated crocodile that attacks and destroys a boat load of paint and eats the paint. See the horrifying conclusion when nature takes its course!!

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 14 Oct 2012, 16:02

Town Without Pity was a gripping courtroom drama starring Kirk Douglas. Here are some spinoffs of that movie:
Town Without Witty---laughter is illegal.
Town Without Half Witty---National Enquirer and Paris Hilton are illegal
Town Without *itty--Strippers are illegal
Town Without Mitty--James Thurber is illegal

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 14 Oct 2012, 19:08

War of the Robot - Invading robot gets blown up by the military-the other robots chickened out.

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 18 Oct 2012, 13:34

Wok Around The Crock
Asian funny man, Beni Ha Ha, gets existential. Don't get fooled into thinking this is a Japanese version of
The Bill Haley classic, Rock Around the Clock. It's 15 minutes of a Wok on a lazy Susan, rotating beside a Crock Pot.
It's in Black and White and Grainy. If that makes it existential, I have alot more respect for the old 8mm home movies
my father shot of the family back in the day. Ha Ha's foray into the existential is a big nihil.

DATo · Post by **DATo** » 18 Oct 2012, 14:22

On The Waterfont

A young, washed-up boxer (who could have been a contender) is reduced to administering enemas for a senior citizen nursing facility.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 18 Oct 2012, 18:54

Big Momma House - Inspiring story of a stout woman who becomes a success after opening a house of commercialized romance for overweight hookers.

clintessential · Post by **clintessential** » 20 Oct 2012, 20:34

The Snows Are Killing My Swallows
Ernest Hummingbird's roman a clef about his ill-fated decision to move his aviary from
the tropical climes of Key Lisp to his ranch in Ketchup, Idaho(not a typo. Papa insisted he lived in Ketchup, not
Ketchum. It was another sign of his growing dementia). The arctic environment of Idaho proves to be too much
for their fragile constitutions and Humm's birds start dropping like so many skeet at a
local shotgun shootout. All this proves too bitter a pill for Hummingbird to swallow, so
he loads up his feeder with hemlock and sucks it dry.
Some have likened his departure to that of Socrates. Hardly. Hummingbird never did
anything for the greater good.

-- 20 Oct 2012, 21:34 --

The Snows Are Killing My Swallows
Ernest Hummingbird's roman a clef about his ill-fated decision to move his aviary from
the tropical climes of Key Lisp to his ranch in Ketchup, Idaho(not a typo. Papa insisted he lived in Ketchup, not
Ketchum. It was another sign of his growing dementia). The arctic environment of Idaho proves to be too much
for their fragile constitutions and Humm's birds start dropping like so many skeet at a
local shotgun shootout. All this proves too bitter a pill for Hummingbird to swallow, so
he loads up his feeder with hemlock and sucks it dry.
Some have likened his departure to that of Socrates. Hardly. Hummingbird never did
anything for the greater good.