What was his secret of his successful marriage life?

Yvonne Monique · Post by **Yvonne Monique** » 16 Feb 2021, 06:10

I think that his upbringing in a small town and part of a Berber tribe, made him a loyal husband and defender of long-established morals and values.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 16 Feb 2021, 07:36

Yvonne Monique wrote: ↑16 Feb 2021, 06:10 I think that his upbringing in a small town and part of a Berber tribe, made him a loyal husband and defender of long-established morals and values.

I too think that his upbringing was responsible for many of his remarkable qualities. Definitely he had learnt to respect women. He loved as well as respected his mother. And after marriage seemingly he has extended both of that facts towards his wife and that might have been a great impact for their long lasted relationship

Betty Gitonga · Post by **Betty Gitonga** » 17 Feb 2021, 07:49

Love, the kind of passionate love which knows no time or distance. Mutual respect for each other, as well.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 17 Feb 2021, 08:59

Betty Gitonga wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 07:49 Love, the kind of passionate love which knows no time or distance. Mutual respect for each other, as well.

I agree. When there is mutual understanding and unconditional love between a couple, their relationship won't have any time boundaries. I think Dr. Berrah's long lasted marriage had same qualities, so only his death could part them away

cd20 · Post by **cd20** » 17 Feb 2021, 11:02

Marriage is about give and take. I think his marriage was successful because he didn't put work first and was very loving and compassionate. We generally tend to treat people like they treat us. I also think he found a good balance between work and marriage.

Upeksha · Post by **Upeksha** » 17 Feb 2021, 11:43

Betty Gitonga wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 07:49 Love, the kind of passionate love which knows no time or distance. Mutual respect for each other, as well.

I totally agree with you.
Further, I would like to add two things to the above list - 'trusting and understanding each other'.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 17 Feb 2021, 13:14

cd20 wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 11:02 Marriage is about give and take. I think his marriage was successful because he didn't put work first and was very loving and compassionate. We generally tend to treat people like they treat us. I also think he found a good balance between work and marriage.

I can't comment on whether he put his work first or not. But considering the scale that he operated at, definitely his work has to come first. I don't say that he can't have time to care for his wife. But definitely she might had had to sacrifice a bit of her happiness and understand her husband's busy schedule. I think she has played a great roll in continuing their marriage life

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 17 Feb 2021, 13:22

Upeksha wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 11:43
Betty Gitonga wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 07:49 Love, the kind of passionate love which knows no time or distance. Mutual respect for each other, as well.
I totally agree with you.
Further, I would like to add two things to the above list - 'trusting and understanding each other'.

Well, that is a great addition. Regarding Dr. Berrah, I don't think that trust would have been a matter. He was trusted by even the leaders of nations as a man true to his word. Unless he won't be sent for diplomatic missions. As I see, understanding has played a major roll here. Seemingly his wife has understood his roll and the busy nature of his job and has been a supportive wife

WADonnelly · Post by **WADonnelly** » 17 Feb 2021, 15:01

I think love but also a lot of hard work, dedication and commitment to each other is what will strengthen the home life. I suppose setting clear boundaries for work and how much it enters home life is key too.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 17 Feb 2021, 22:14

WADonnelly wrote: ↑17 Feb 2021, 15:01 I think love but also a lot of hard work, dedication and commitment to each other is what will strengthen the home life. I suppose setting clear boundaries for work and how much it enters home life is key too.

That is an important point. However much we emphasize on it, practically we can't let our work come above everything else most of the times. But if we can keep clear boundaries between our personal life and work life, they won't interfere with each other and both the work life and personal life will be happy and prosperous. This might be a reason behind Dr. Berrah's long lasted marriage life

Lalit_kendre14 · Post by **Lalit_kendre14** » 19 Feb 2021, 11:15

His affection towards his mom may have driven him to very much want his significant other in a, particularly steady way. However, I think his significant other likewise had an incredible commitment in their marriage life. With his vocation, Dr. Berrah should have not been around his better half more regularly. Be that as it may, obviously she had perceived it quite well and upheld her better half in the manner she could. So Dr. Berrah probably won't have any additional weight or need of any additional work to continue to go his married life

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 19 Feb 2021, 18:18

Lalit_kendre14 wrote: ↑19 Feb 2021, 11:15 His affection towards his mom may have driven him to very much want his significant other in a, particularly steady way. However, I think his significant other likewise had an incredible commitment in their marriage life. With his vocation, Dr. Berrah should have not been around his better half more regularly. Be that as it may, obviously she had perceived it quite well and upheld her better half in the manner she could. So Dr. Berrah probably won't have any additional weight or need of any additional work to continue to go his married life

I think the same. His wife should have been given more credit in this aspect. Definitely she should have been a good understanding woman. Some ordinary woman will not tolerate her husband not being around her most of the times and having to do all the household work alone without any support from the husband. Seemingly she has been a great support for Dr. Berrah and that might have been a very good reason to have a long lasted marriage

Katherine Smith · Post by **Katherine Smith** » 19 Feb 2021, 18:26

You question is what many people ask themselves on a daily basis including myself. I do not think that their is any secret to the doctor's success, but instead I think that he worked hard at creating a balance for himself. I am not saying that those who cannot find a work-life balance are not trying hard, but I am simply stating that when you are constantly working or traveling as the author did you need to find a balance where you can. It is about finding a rhythm in life and in marriage that makes both parties feel heard. It also is about constantly checking in on your partner to make sure that they are feeling appreciated and when something does not go quite right the balance can be readjusted.

Nitika Sood · Post by **Nitika Sood** » 20 Feb 2021, 08:26

In Dr. Berrah's case, it's like I could feel his passion and love for his wife practically emanating from the page, and judging from his account, his wife felt the same way for him. He was also quite an accomplished man, and I'm sure that a lot of that came down to the integral support that his wife gave him. I'm sure that they would've had the same problems that an average couple faces, but the respect and appreciation that Dr.Berrah displays towards his mother surely played a pivotal role in shaping him up for marriage, which is probably another reason that his relationship with his wife was so successful.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 20 Feb 2021, 12:04

Katherine Smith wrote: ↑19 Feb 2021, 18:26 You question is what many people ask themselves on a daily basis including myself. I do not think that their is any secret to the doctor's success, but instead I think that he worked hard at creating a balance for himself. I am not saying that those who cannot find a work-life balance are not trying hard, but I am simply stating that when you are constantly working or traveling as the author did you need to find a balance where you can. It is about finding a rhythm in life and in marriage that makes both parties feel heard. It also is about constantly checking in on your partner to make sure that they are feeling appreciated and when something does not go quite right the balance can be readjusted.

I agree. Actually it is not a secret. And also it is not pure luck or chance. You have to work to achieve it. Successful marriage life is an achievement. Seemingly Dr. Berrah has worked towards that goal, among his many other goals as well. And he has succeeded, among many of his other successes. And definitely an equal credit should go to his wife as well, since it could not have succeeded without her support