Could you date someone who doesn't read?

claudibee · Post by **claudibee** » 12 Sep 2008, 11:35

i'm married to a man who doesn't read and i've been with him nearly 15 years. when i met him i was selling secondhand books so he knew how much i loved books and reading. the only problem i've every encountered is when we've had to move, but i've always packed and hefted my books by myself, so he can't (and doesn't) complain. do i complain when he watches football? no, i read instead. on a serious note, it shouldn't be a problem as most couples i know have separate interests. it's all about being grown-up, i suppose. anyway, with two kids neither of us has much time to think so it's all become academic. hide in the lav, smoke out the window and read.

spccwby07 · Post by **spccwby07** » 07 Oct 2008, 17:48

I'm actually in just such a relationship. In fact, i joined this group out of frustration because i cant talk about anything i read with the people i associate with.

It really isnt that bad. He has a passion for music that i will never understand, just as i have a passion for books and reading that he will never understand. Luckily, we both have a passion for movies, and that sustains us.

Nice to find people to talk to about such things.

ceejay77 · Post by **ceejay77** » 07 Oct 2008, 22:13

if she can entertain herself while I read my book thats fine but would prefer to read on the bed together

shokosugi · Post by **shokosugi** » 08 Oct 2008, 13:12

i don't think so. my Wife is an avid reader and it's one of the things i like about her.

futureperfect · Post by **futureperfect** » 11 Oct 2008, 11:22

My fiance isn't much of a reader, i do buy him books (he's a big palahniuk and copeland fan) but he only picks them up once in a while.
But then he is a massive gamer so we have an unwritten agreement that he can play games and i read... it always works and i nearly always tell him about the books i'm reading anyway.

development · Post by **development** » 12 Oct 2008, 01:00

I could date such a person as long as they like to discuss different things with me. I like having long discussions about all sorts of topics, and know that I would not be attracted to someone who has no real opinions on things.

Anti-Hero · Post by **Anti-Hero** » 26 Oct 2008, 18:02

I currently am dating someone who doesn't seem to read many books at all, though his mother is a huge book fan. I don't find it a problem though, because we discuss other matters and he understands I like to spend some of my time reading and even shows an interest in what I am reading. I guess not everyone is like this, but I don't think that just because someone doesn't read that you should automatically show disinterest in them. I hope you find the right person for you in the end but you should keep an open mind. You might suprise yourself someday.

GWA · Post by **GWA** » 28 Oct 2008, 03:27

For me it's not about the reading as much as the ideals, and if I share the same or sympathetic ideals, then whether they read or not is of little consequence. That's not to say I don't appreciate someone who loves devouring a book and are able to discuss what did and didn't affect them, it's just not a deal-braker.

GWA

UnsungHero · Post by **UnsungHero** » 08 Nov 2008, 03:14

I definitely find it attractive when a guy is into reading, but my boyfriend hates to read. To make things worse, he used to get annoyed at me when I would sit and reading a novel. Luckily he's gotten over it, but I would love to have him find a book that he would be into.

johnlovesbooks · Post by **johnlovesbooks** » 08 Nov 2008, 18:05

When I first read the question I thought "of course not" but the more I thought about it the more I realized that was not the right answer (for me). I have lots of interest my wife doesn't have and that isn't a problem. Now in our case she happens to enjoy reading, but that is irrelevant.

bookfly · Post by **bookfly** » 18 Nov 2008, 01:11

I think it is his choice .If he or she read or not

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TanyaG84 · Post by **TanyaG84** » 18 Nov 2008, 16:02

My husband doesn't read. Ever. He gets frustrated when I read sometimes but, for the most part, he's learned to deal.

BarrieReader · Post by **BarrieReader** » 18 Nov 2008, 17:27

My first reaction was NEVER. And I'm sticking to that. My husband and I read constantly, we each always have a couple of books on the go. And there's just nothing like cozying up together on the couch on a rainy Sunday afternoon while he escapes in SciFi and I try to unravel the latest mystery.

trillscott · Post by **trillscott** » 20 Nov 2008, 06:20

It would be difficult at first, but most people have a wide range of interests, so therefor I do believe it could work out. It's not always about getting along on the intelligence level, such as being able to hold a conversation about a topic for so long, its sometimes about getting along on much deeper levels of understanding. If they don't read, then give them a chance. If they don't read who cares, don't judge a book by its cover, you know?

Limotek · Post by **Limotek** » 20 Nov 2008, 08:23

Yes of course I could. We don't need to share the same interests. I also enjoy watching football but I appreciate my partner doesn't feel the same way. I think having different interests is actually quite healthy for a relationship.