Show me your naked pain

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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G D H
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Post by G D H »

Scott wrote: 01 Sep 2021, 20:50 I wrote this today.


---


Show me your naked pain
Show me your soul in the nude
Show me the reality
Of what it means to be you

Strip away the polite lies
Strip away the protective mask
Strip away the stiff upper lip
Bare it on the tip of the past

Be here in our now
Be untethered, free
Be you
With me


---
You're a big motivation, Scott. This one's for you:


---


If I lay bare my pain
If I unclad my dark soul
If I show you my own world
And before you cast me whole

If I discard the old lies
If I pull off the flowered sheet
If I still my stark lying lips
And call in truth by them unhit

If here and now, free
I show you me, wo'ld
You, my
Hands hold?


---


Aghhh..
Do I see someone smile? :)
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Scott
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Post by Scott »

G D H wrote: 15 Dec 2021, 09:13
Scott wrote: 01 Sep 2021, 20:50 I wrote this today.


---


Show me your naked pain
Show me your soul in the nude
Show me the reality
Of what it means to be you

Strip away the polite lies
Strip away the protective mask
Strip away the stiff upper lip
Bare it on the tip of the past

Be here in our now
Be untethered, free
Be you
With me


---
You're a big motivation, Scott. This one's for you:


---


If I lay bare my pain
If I unclad my dark soul
If I show you my own world
And before you cast me whole

If I discard the old lies
If I pull off the flowered sheet
If I still my stark lying lips
And call in truth by them unhit

If here and now, free
I show you me, wo'ld
You, my
Hands hold?


---


Aghhh..
Do I see someone smile? :)
@G D H awesome poem! Please do submit it for our Poetry and Art Contest if you haven't already. :D
"That virtue we appreciate is as much ours as another's. We see so much only as we possess." - Henry David Thoreau

"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid
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G D H
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Post by G D H »

Scott wrote: 15 Dec 2021, 09:55
@G D H awesome poem! Please do submit it for our Poetry and Art Contest, if you haven't already. :D
Thanks a lot, Scott. :lol2: Really glad you like it. Wow.. TBH, I did intend to contest, only with a wholly different poem. Now I'm so hooked, and much unsure. Cos it seems like cheating, you know, or so I think.

Hahahaha

I constructed this poem as a response to SHOW ME YOUR NAKED PAIN, which makes it as much yours as it is mine — since the inspiration came from you.

Now that I think of it, doesn't BARING MY SOUL sound like a good-enough title for this poem, were I to submit it instead of another? I don't know, Scott. 🤦🏻‍♂️

I hope to decide soon on this. So for now, I'd just end all of this with:

keep up the good work, you do know how to make things happen.
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Mmaduabuchi Eze
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Post by Mmaduabuchi Eze »

Such a soul-searching piece! We need to talk to our inner self and examine the sincerity of whatever we do. I especially love the line, "Show me your soul in the nude." Thank you, Scott.
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Mmaduabuchi Eze
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Post by Mmaduabuchi Eze »

"Show me your soul in the nude." This evokes feelings of self-evaluation, tasking us to examine the sincerity of our public conduct.
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Post by Eriododo Binuyo »

It's wonderful. This is what we all need... To strip away our masks and to be who we are
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Feliceness
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Post by Feliceness »

To reveal that naked pain is to be completely vulnerable. We live in a world that has taught us to trust nothing and nobody.
But maybe you will find that one person...

Interesting poem - Would love to hear its foundation.
Thank you for sharing.
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Post by Theresia J Mbenda »

They're so PERFECT. Yours and G D Hs! I don't know if my poems can be as good, as perfect and as meaningful to enter the competition.🙂 YOU are so good at your writing.
If only everyone could be open and honest. It's so hard to trust someone and just be yourself.

Charades and fake smiles probably happen because one believes that it's impossible to find someone who loves or admires one with all flaws, scars and qualities.

This honest and true companionship is something I yearn for😁 At least that's how I translated the poem - TRUTH la vérité
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Post by Paul Arhewe »

Nice poem.
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Post by Marisa8Damele »

Profound and beautiful. It touched my heart.
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Post by omohtessy »

Amazing poem, very short and precise, I love it
Stephen Onuoha
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Post by Stephen Onuoha »

Great work of art
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Post by Bafilawala Carols »

Its very beautiful
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G D H
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Post by G D H »

Theresia J Mbenda wrote: 16 Dec 2021, 09:15 They're so PERFECT. Yours and G D Hs! I don't know if my poems can be as good, as perfect and as meaningful to enter the competition.🙂 YOU are so good at your writing.
If only everyone could be open and honest. It's so hard to trust someone and just be yourself.

Charades and fake smiles probably happen because one believes that it's impossible to find someone who loves or admires one with all flaws, scars and qualities.

This honest and true companionship is something I yearn for😁 At least that's how I translated the poem - TRUTH la vérité
You speak meaningfully, and from somewhere in you — it's where Truth hides. I have no trouble believing you got what it takes. Winning would be great, but this thing, this heart wash we're all rushing into, transcends any award.

I'd really love to see Scott realize his plans for such a promising anthology.
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Post by Hassan Yassin »

It's really the best poem cool and well understood verses and the lessons are derived after thinking a little bit deep.Its the best , thanks Scott 🙏🙏 for the creativity
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