Review of You Are Not Alone

[Francis Omotayo Aderogbin]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "You Are Not Alone" by Dennis chapman.]

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4 out of 4 stars

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Men also suffer emotional, physical, and psychological abuse in relationships. But because men are known to be strong, they don’t come out and report it. The few that do are not listened to or taken seriously. Hence, Dennis Chapman wrote this book to let you know you are not alone and to give you the necessary support for your recovery.

In You Are Not Alone: A Men’s Gaslighting Recovery, Dennis discusses gaslighting and how to identify it if you are being gaslighted as a man. It further explores how you can defend yourself and exit such a relationship. According to the author, getting out of the relationship is not enough. Even more importantly, how to maintain your sanity afterwards, ensuring you do not find yourself in a similar relationship again, is even more critical. Therefore, he also outlines what to do not to get hooked up with an abusive woman in the future. It is also worthwhile to note that leaving your Karen (the imaginary abusive woman in the book) will not be easy if there are children and properties involved. So, this book provides a way to handle such situations, too. After reading, you can join a free support group organised by the author.

This book is written out of the experiences of the author. Dennis was once a victim of an abusive relationship who escaped (he even lost a deal because of the relationship). He is now happily married to another woman and living his best life. Therefore, the principles discussed are not just theoretical but practical and proven to be trusted. This general saying, ‘Follow someone who has successfully navigated a challenging journey so as not to get lost,’ applies here. Dennis provides convincing statistics regarding how many men suffer from gaslighting and how many can't report their conditions. The number of those who got help compared with the number of women in the same situation is alarming.

The statistics simply show that men are ashamed of coming out and saying that women are abusing them. The authorities, friends, and families did not take some of the men who successfully reported seriously. They are mostly greeted with ‘that’s women for you’. The success of this book should serve as a wake-up call to everyone, including the authorities, friends, and families, to always listen to men and their feelings when they come out to give such reports. I could resonate with some of the principles discussed in this book because I could say I was once gaslighted, but I escaped without scratches. Not everyone can be as lucky as I was. Most men will not even know they are entering an abusive relationship because a woman who gaslights will first massage your ego. She will make you feel loved and adored so that when she starts gaslighting, you will definitely think you are the problem.

This is one of the effects and identifications discussed by the author. He also explained how speaking out, no matter what people might say, will go a long way in breaking the shackles of Karen in your life. The author expressed all his points with true-life stories of people who have escaped from their Karen. This made the book relatable and understandable. Dennis was able to establish that gaslighting always comes in circles.

The book made me understand that most people think people who gaslight are only created in abusive relationships. They do not realise that many people are born into such psychological environments. They are first created by abusive parents or any other abusive relationship; then, they grow into it. This simply means getting the family structure right will go a long way toward reducing the rate of abusive relationships in society. Although the book is meant for men, the principles discussed apply to women who are also passing through such abusive relationships. Each chapter ends with a ‘So, What’s The Takeaway?’ which helps summarise the chapter's discussion.

The editors of this book did an excellent job. I found no errors in it, and that made it exceptionally edited. I found absolutely nothing to dislike about the book; the principles are easy to work with, the words used are easy to understand, and the stories told are relatable. Hence, I will rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. I strongly recommend this book to men who are in abusive relationships. Also, this book is for men who want to avoid gaslighting and those willing to help their friends or siblings get out of abusive relationships. The content of this book will help you identify abuse, rediscover your identity, and learn how to trust others.

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You Are Not Alone
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[Oluwapelumi Rachael]

Amazing review francis. I’m so happy that I’ve come across a book like this that i can gift my male friends. Men aren’t usually allowed to express their emotions or feelings and its so sad. Nice work done by the author in discussing this issue.

[Ede Tochukwu Paul]

This book is very easy to understand and is meaningful to anyone who is in such relationship to quickly withdraw his or her self for better tomorrow,thanks.

[Jamie Blake 1]

Beautiful book, really highlights what a lot of men experiences in relationships but are afraid to speak up or are not taken seriously.

[Jane Ogwang]

Men have been neglected for a while now, and it's great to see authors take the time to correct that. NIce review.

[Francis Aderogbin]

This book is truly a clarion call. Men have been neglected with their emotions over time, and they need to be listened to. I commend the author for writing this. It needs all possible awareness it requires.

[Oyedeji Funmilayo]

The world sees abuse majorly as a women thing, but men too are also victims of abuse from manipulative women. I salute the author's courage in writing this book and proferring solutions to other men and women in similar situations. Wonderful review Welldone Francis!!!

[Precious Oba]

I love this book already. Of course abuse can happen to anyone regardless of gender, status, nationality or belief. I love how the author discusses this particular type of abuse that is experienced greatly among the menfolk. The society has been so focused on tackling sexual abuse that has a staggering number among the womenfolk that it has neglected this one. I would love to read it too. Your review is equally great.

[Nwaka Chukwuemeka]

It is obvious that abuse can happen to anyone regardless of your gender or age. There is a lot to learn from the insightful book. Great review.

[Mozi Ken]

Wow, interesting! I am sadly among those that think the idea of men being abused to be farfetched. I'll like to read this book. Nice review.

[Waliyat_24]

There’s a lot to learn here. I guess even females can learn here on how to survive such relationships. Great review!

[Prisallen]

It is sad but true that men can also enter into abusive relationships and may not be believed because they are men. I'm glad the author is shedding light on this problem. I'm sure this book would be helpful to others in his situation. Thanks for your wonderful review!

[Amarachi Nwankwo03]

Wow! There’s a lot to learn from this one. The narrative usually is that women are the only ones who enter and suffer abusive relationships. However, many men suffer the same fate but feel too awkward to speak up. I love that the author has bravely used his own experiences to help any man who unfortunately finds himself in a similar position.

[Micah_1]

I totally agree with you that there are a lot of men who are molested in a relationship. But then, men are men, they ought to be strong.

[Adeolaoskydeelight]

This is an eye opener to an act some people think it's normal but causes depression for the victim. I love read experiences,it teaches a lot. Great review