Help with a couple of editor comments on my review

[Krista Clark Grabowski]

Can I please get thoughts on the items below that editors said were errors? I love constructive criticism and want to learn how to write great reviews. I'm just struggling with understanding the reasons behind the comments below.

• 1. Here is the first suggested change.
  
  By doing this, Hughes says they can fall in love with their life(lives) and the world through both the highs and lows that are(of) the rollercoaster human experience.
  His book seeks to show the reader how to uncover their true self(selves) and achieve spiritual freedom,
  
  
  This sentence in my review precedes the first sentence shown above where it was suggested that I change "life" to "lives": It seeks to persuade the reader how to discover their “true self” and view it in a healthy way.
  
  If I change "life" to "lives," isn't there a disagreement between "reader" and "lives"? Since "reader" is singular, shouldn't I use "life" instead of "lives"? Or am I missing or misunderstanding something? And wouldn't the same be true if I changes "self" to "selves" in the last instance?
  
  And regarding adding "of" to the first sentence, that one just sounds awkward to me. I could maybe see adding "part of," but my intention was to say that highs and lows = the human experience. "Rollercoaster" is an adjective that was meant to reflect "highs and lows."
  
  2. The next comment was that I didn't indicate likes and dislikes. I thought that the following sentences communicated my likes and dislikes. Do I need to state it differently or use the words "like" and "dislike"?
  
  Because I’m always a bit leery of philosophy books, I was a bit hesitant about reading In It Together, but I found its concepts and message pretty accessible. Sections in which the terminology and ideas were a little complicated for me to understand were followed by examples that illustrated the point. These examples were clear and kept me from getting lost. A difficult-to-grasp section, once clarified with examples, was always followed by sections I found very enjoyable.
  
  Hughes was repetitive with certain words or examples throughout the book. If I had a dollar for every time he used the word “inexorably,” I’d be rich. The repetition, although sometimes bothersome, could be intentional, however, as it may help some readers more fully understand Hughes’ message. I admit that it did help me connect certain ideas.

Thanks so much for any insights you can provide!

[Warner Williams]

Dear Kristy
Your sentence. " they can fall in love with their life" is theoretically wrong. The pronoun 'they' indicates multiple items, therefore 'lives'. In the second sentence, it should be the other way, 'the reader' is singular. However, it is best not to use conflicting pronouns. Here is an example: Readers can uncover their true selves.

Hope this was of some use.

[MsH2k]

Hi Krista G.

By doing this, Hughes says they can fall in love with their life(lives) and the world through both the highs and lows that are(of) the rollercoaster human experience.
His book seeks to show the reader how to uncover their true self(selves) and achieve spiritual freedom,

I agree with your reasoning for the first suggested changes. Since you have established that “they” refers to “the reader,” which is singular, it is appropriate to keep the number consistent when continuing the thought. What you wrote was correct. “They” can be singular or plural. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/use-the-singular-they/

What you wrote was also correct regarding “highs and lows.” Your intention was to say
highs and lows = the human experience. Comparing the noun “highs and lows” to the noun “experience,” with “rollercoaster” and “human” both being adjectives describing “experience” is correct. https://www.merriam-webster.com/diction ... and%20lows
An alternative would be to replace “that are” with “of”:
through both the highs and lows of the rollercoaster human experience.

Regarding the second item, it seems clear to me what you liked and disliked based on that passage.

You have grounds to request a recheck if you want to pursue it. You are allowed only a certain number of rechecks, but you do get your recheck count back if the editor changes the scorecard in response to your recheck request. If the editor doesn’t change their scorecard, and you still think you are right, you can request an admin recheck on the scorecard. You will get the recheck back if the admin changes the scorecard.

Be sure to thoroughly explain why you think it is written correctly and provide reference links when appropriate. You don’t have the opportunity to add to your recheck request if you decide to go for an admin recheck, so it is very important that the initial recheck request is thorough and complete.

[Krista Clark Grabowski]

Thank you so much. Glad to know my reasoning makes sense to someone else.

[kipper_]

1. Many academic institutions consider "they" to primarily be a plural term, although many sources challenge this. In this context, I would be curious to know what personal style guide you were basing your review off of. By this, I mean to consider whether you were using "they" as a plural term in the sentences prior--it may have been unclear whether you were using it as a singular term in the sentences you listed here. If you have been consistent with the use of "they" as a singular term throughout the review, I wouldn't consider this an error. If there is a fine intermingling of its use, I would accept the feedback as a way to make the distinction clearer.

The "of" suggestion is purely a personal choice and shouldn't be considered an error.

2. Referring to the previous point, I think the distinction was not strong enough, which resulted in the editor poorly interpreting the guidelines. For example, in your dislike section, you reinforce the concept that the book addressed the problem. This makes it seem like it wasn't really an issue.

"Sections in which the terminology and ideas were a little complicated for me to understand were followed by examples that illustrated the point. These examples were clear and kept me from getting lost."

As an editor, I would be confused whether to determine this as a positive or negative takeaway.

My recommendation would be to use more definitive language when illustrating your points so that there is less room for confusion. A great way to test this out is to take one paragraph and devote it to your dislikes, and use a second one to describe what you enjoyed.

[Krista Clark Grabowski]

@kipper_ Great points. Thanks for the feedback.