Could you date someone who doesn't read?

[jsmyla]

I’m not sure I want to see more of the replies on here. Most serious readers I know are very open-minded and the thought of trying to change people into something they aren’t freaks me out. Not to mention it’s a bit like asking “would you date someone who isn’t blonde?” But most of the answers seem to sound more like “would you date someone with a disability?”.

If this is truly about attraction and love, then you don’t get to choose what you feel about someone if you actually give the person a chance rather than shut them down before you get to know them. Everyone complains about how shallow people are about looks, how is this different?

[Phillip Ngoua Obame]

As an avid bookworm myself. I have personally experienced this situation in the past, and... unfortunately, it did not end well...

For me, reading is not just a hobby; it's a way of life. It's a passion that allows me to explore new worlds, gain knowledge, and escape into the realms of imagination. Reading is a fundamental part of my identity, and it's something that I value greatly in a romantic partner.


In a romantic relationship, shared interests and values are vital for building a strong foundation. While differences can add diversity and excitement to a relationship, a significant disparity in something as fundamental as reading can create challenges in the long run. It can affect the quality of communication, connection, and overall compatibility.

That being said, I understand that reading may not be a priority for everyone, and it's a personal choice. It's entirely possible to have a fulfilling romantic relationship with someone who doesn't read, as long as both partners respect and appreciate each other's differences. However, based on my experience, I have come to the realization that a shared love for reading is something that I value in a romantic relationship.

[jsmyla]

That being said, I understand that reading may not be a priority for everyone, and it's a personal choice. It's entirely possible to have a fulfilling romantic relationship with someone who doesn't read, as long as both partners respect and appreciate each other's differences. However, based on my experience, I have come to the realization that a shared love for reading is something that I value in a romantic relationship.

I LOVE THIS^^^^ ANSWER!!! Super open-minded & understanding of all possibilities with an understanding of how ALL KINDS of deeper relationships work (foundation of trust, love, respect, communication), yet aware of his own personal experiences and how they formed his personal answer to the question posed.

I had an ex that I was friends with for many years, then lived with in an exclusive relationship for years. He wasn’t a reader other than SOME Stephen King (only the ones that piqued his interest) and some general books & religious texts from different religions (he was an atheist and wanted to be informed if he was standing by his opinion).
On the other hand, I had my head in a book literally whenever I wasn’t doing something else: waiting for the microwave for 90s, 10-15 mins on a bus, anytime someone else drove, I never went anywhere without one especially once I had to get a smartphone for work in 2013 and found the Nook app+ my ebook library available anytime so I was the girl walking around staring at her phone reading, not texting or playing candy crush.

Now, we respected each other enough to communicate and worked it out that if he wanted my attention while reading (not an emergency obv or he’d say so) he would would let me know, and I’d ask him to give me a second (to finish the paragraph so I’d remember my stopping point since I remember most things written as pictures), and then we’d talk. That’s because I pointed out that I waited for SOME kind of break in his pro Hockey game and WWE watching because it was just polite. And while neither of us enjoyed the other’s interest, both were big parts of our lives so we supported it and actively listened when the other wanted to talk about it. Our breakup had absolutely nothing to do with having shared interests or not, it was about his severe childhood trauma (he should have been removed by social services) making him believe he couldn’t handle being the breadwinner; I’d always thought it was awesome that he’d never had a problem with me making more money till I became disabled and he unraveled about money. So I can’t say I think shared interests are the key, or even one of them, to a lasting relationship and still be honest

[Kirsti Friesen]

My husband is not a reader. I feel like this is actually a good thing because I don't have to "fight" over reading time or who gets to take care of the kids while the other one reads. I can read while he watches his shows and we are still hanging out together.

[Phillip Ngoua Obame]

I had an ex that I was friends with for many years, then lived with in an exclusive relationship for years. He wasn’t a reader other than SOME Stephen King (only the ones that piqued his interest) and some general books & religious texts from different religions (he was an atheist and wanted to be informed if he was standing by his opinion).
On the other hand, I had my head in a book literally whenever I wasn’t doing something else: waiting for the microwave for 90s, 10-15 mins on a bus, anytime someone else drove, I never went anywhere without one especially once I had to get a smartphone for work in 2013 and found the Nook app+ my ebook library available anytime so I was the girl walking around staring at her phone reading, not texting or playing candy crush.

Now, we respected each other enough to communicate and worked it out that if he wanted my attention while reading (not an emergency obv or he’d say so) he would would let me know, and I’d ask him to give me a second (to finish the paragraph so I’d remember my stopping point since I remember most things written as pictures), and then we’d talk. That’s because I pointed out that I waited for SOME kind of break in his pro Hockey game and WWE watching because it was just polite. And while neither of us enjoyed the other’s interest, both were big parts of our lives so we supported it and actively listened when the other wanted to talk about it. Our breakup had absolutely nothing to do with having shared interests or not, it was about his severe childhood trauma (he should have been removed by social services) making him believe he couldn’t handle being the breadwinner; I’d always thought it was awesome that he’d never had a problem with me making more money till I became disabled and he unraveled about money. So I can’t say I think shared interests are the key, or even one of them, to a lasting relationship and still be honest

Yep, shared interests can certainly help in a relationship, but they are not the be-all and end-all. It's possible for two people to have vastly different interests and still have a strong and lasting connection. What's more important is respect, communication, and support for each other's passions and pursuits. As you mentioned, you and your ex found a way to accommodate each other's interests and needs, which is a great example of a healthy and mature relationship. Ultimately, it's the deeper emotional connection that matters most in a relationship, and that can be built on many things beyond shared interests.

[jsmyla]

Ikr? I’d never have expected him making more money than me would break us up after 10 years

[Opeyemi Mustapha]

Well, I can
I just have to make him interested in reading eventually

[Towfiq Juma]

I wouldn't mind dating them as long as they'd listen to story telling laugh with me throughout the humourous books and cry with me when the book has a bad ending.

[chiefhustler]

Definitely yes. Love is not about reading books; it's about loving each other dearly. Once we are in love, it will not take time for me to convince my partner to be an avid reader as well. Some people don't read just because they are unconscious about the essence of reading. But if you clearly explain to them why they should read books avidly they will read. As an avid reader, I read lots of books on how to deal with people and how to influence people. I can't and I never failed to convince a person to read, specially someone closely connected to me.

[Wanjla Carl]

Yeah I would because everybody is different and has their own interests.

[Wanjla Carl]

Well, I can
I just have to make him interested in reading eventually

What if he doesn't change?

[Wanjla Carl]

Originally I would say no, but I know someone who can't stand books. You would think he was offended by them. However, he is a kind and gentle soul. He rather watch or listen than read.

Seems fair enough

[Wanjla Carl]

I think I would, if he made me laugh. After all, he can go do boy things while I read.
R.

Mmmh interesting

[OrangeRose]

I'm married to a man who is dyslexic, and so yes, he cannot read a novel. But he will sit for hours using google to write an email.
He's very good with his hands though, so I guess it doesn't matter if he doesn't read.

[Justin Christensen]

Oh man, absolutely not. I can put up with a lot of things, but books are such a CORE part of who I am. It's such a huge part of me and my life that I would feel I couldn't share with my partner.... someone who hasn't read in the past, that's a different story. Someone who DOES NOT read, doesn't like it, doesn't want to, not interested, that's going to be a hard no from me.