Are you curious?

[Cathy Burgin]

I believe that the final decision to commit suicide is the individual’s choice. That individual is the one responsible and no one should make themselves feel responsible for that choice.

When I taught high school, a student committed suicide and afterwards his friends began to realize there were signs they did not recognize. While knowing those signs might have prevented his choice, not knowing them did not cause his death. From that point, I found ways to talk with students about how to recognize the signs.

Since that time, I have had distant family members take their own life. They did not demonstrate the textbook warning signs. While it breaks my heart that they made that decision, it is the remaining family members who suffer the pain of that decision.

While we can hypothesize about why some one chooses to take their own life, I don’t think we can ever really know. Those who survive an attempt deserve our concern but not our curiosity.

[Hubre De Klerk]

I think in the case of a suicide there will always be a type of guilt afterwards to those who were close to the person if they didn't realize what was going on or saw how critical the situation was. You will always wonder what you could have done differently, or see the things you missed initially, afterwards. I do believe realizing that is wasn't your fault will help a bit with this, although it will still be hard. I don't think asking questions afterwards is the course to go, although that would feel like it to know how to best help. I think just being there for the person and showing your love and support is the best way to go. Also not giving the person too much alone time as that is usually when the mind goes overboard in the silence, but just being there would also help, I believe. When and if they are ready, they will open up about the why's.

[Shirley Ann Riddern Labzentis]

Both my daughter and my grandson have tried to commit suicide. When asked why they both said that they didn’t know why. I have told them both that I am there for them and to call and talk anytime, no matter what time of day or night. It doesn’t seem enough, but it’s all I can do is make myself available to them and there’s no judgement involved.

[Nganyi Humphrey]

My thoughts are, that I'd be curious to know the reason why one would want to commit suicide. This will then make me aware of the next step that I am to take to assist the person against committing suicide.

[MsH2k]

Life is hard. I know what it is like when things feel so unfixable that it is hard to keep going. I would not feel curious, but I would feel either relief or regret. Relief if they survived because there would still be a chance for them to live a satisfying life. Regret if they did not make it because whatever issue they faced was not worth the price of their precious life. They could have been moments away from a solution and a chance to share their life with others.

[Rocky Ellery James Tumbelaka]

I met quite a lot of depressed people from my time in the psychiatric ED. Most of time you wouldn't be able to tell if they have suicidal tought. Suicidal people are capable of hiding their true feeling. You would be talking and laughing as their best friend without knowing anything. So, you don't have to feel so bad for not knowing if someone was suicidal.

[Carly Sprout]

Yes I'm definitely curious about the why, I think it's part of human nature. Thing is even if you where his friend you most probably wouldn't have known his struggles. People who commit suicide are normally masters in hiding their feelings or for not taking about what's troubling them. I've noticed over the years that alot of times the person who commits suicide are sometimes the life of a party, the 'care-free' one, the funny one. I think that's why it's such a shock when it does happen, cause it was never expected. Please don't feel guilty for not being there or not noticing something was wrong.

I was thinking along these lines too. Those who are suicidal can present in a variety of ways - some withdraw, while others behave 'normally' or even enthusiastically. That is why I believe it is unfair to place blame on surviving friends and family because they did not 'recognise the signs'. When it comes to mental health struggles, which are so complex, compassion, understanding, and professional assistance are crucial.

[Sarah Zain]

These days, I have come to see that these attempts have become a refuge to draw attention and to imitate, so the serious ones become lost in the middle of the others. There are some people who do not understand the seriousness of the matter, but I am sure of the importance of the good words and the positive gestures in changing someone’s day, but changing his or her ideas or thoughts is something that needs more closeness and more understanding.

[Zainab Wasif]

It's natural to feel curious but we should always be empathetic toward the victim and always consider how the inquiry might affect them. Unless the victim is comfortable sharing his ordeal with you, otherwise you have no right to poke your nose in anyone’s business.

[Christopher Sublett]

I would not be curious more than I would rather have been there for them. If attempting or committing suicide to end your life in that moment, obviously, a devastating life issue is occurring. Most importantly, I would be concerned about being available to that person to witness early signs of habit changes to possibly have prevented a suicidal death by offering to seek professional therapy or counseling for help.

[Abiodunakinola]

I always feel curious when I heard of someone that committed suicide. Just recently in my school, one girl walked up to one uncompleted-story building house and committed suicide. I always feel curious about hearing that because everybody is going through difficulty, so the next option is not supposed to be suicide.

[Aditii Mehta]

Yes, I will feel curious but I won't ask the person if we're not close enough. Also, it's not easy for people to express such feelings. I would act as if nothing happened otherwise it'll make them feel bad.

[Nate Mosson]

I hadn't really thought about this aspect of the book but I really should have. I believe that social media could be used well by youngsters to feel connected but too often there is a dependency that spills over into everyday life. Damion's dependency on the number of likes for his videos was a good example of what students go through every day. The peer pressure is incredible and few have the mental fortitude to disregard it. I think the author did a great job showing how it is possible to get sucked in so easily.

[Sofia Monteiro]

I don't think curious would be the right word. Most of the time, even though the environment does influence a person's decision, suicide is correlated with some kind of treatable disorder. I can imagine how the thoughts are composed, what counts into them and just how intimate it is, so I won't be wondering about the circumstances of it.

[Jnapika D]

I don't think asking about it right away would be a great idea. I personally don't want to be questioned about my actions, at least not right away. It will be quite stressful for them, and they might shut off completely, which is not a good move at all. I will make them comfortable and go about the day just like any other day, but I will pay close attention to anything they have to say just to make sure they are okay and not sad or hurt.