Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Zainab Tutayo
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
There’s something quietly sobering about *The Unfakeable Code®*. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t storm in with a loud manifesto—he disarms you with honesty. From the very first chapters, it’s clear this isn’t just a book about becoming more authentic; it’s a mirror held up to all the false layers we’ve learned to wear, especially in environments where we’re rewarded for being polished, not real. What struck me personally is how Selimi takes the reader through five distinct principles—he calls them “pathways”—each uncovering a different layer of self-deception. And somehow, as the pages progress, those internalized lies many of us have gotten so good at managing start to feel unbearable. I think that’s part of his point: healing isn’t tidy. It’s inconvenient, raw, and sometimes destabilizing.
One theme I kept circling back to as I read—especially during the sections where Selimi talks about fear-based leadership and workplace dynamics—was how survival mode becomes the standard operating procedure for so many professionals. You know that quiet panic that sits in your chest during Monday meetings? That’s what he means by “scarcity personas.” I’ve seen it play out in colleagues, and admittedly, I’ve caught glimpses of it in myself. Selimi explains how individuals unconsciously wear these survival masks—overachiever, people-pleaser, perfectionist—all in an effort to stay valuable in high-pressure environments. But staying in that mode too long leads to burnout, disengagement, and something he calls “disempowered leadership.” I liked that phrase because it flips the typical corporate language we’re used to. It’s not that people fail to lead—it’s that they’re too emotionally depleted to lead well. I wonder how many managers actually realize this about their teams—or themselves.
Where the book truly shines is in its groundedness. Selimi doesn’t stay abstract or philosophical for long; he brings the concepts home through real stories—his own and those of clients he's coached. There’s one example of a corporate executive who was on the verge of leaving his job because of constant emotional numbness. Through coaching rooted in the book’s principles, he didn't just stick it out—he changed the very way he related to his team and himself. I remember pausing after that chapter thinking, *maybe most of us are just reacting to trauma in a very organized way.* The fact that Selimi doesn’t pathologize this, but rather offers tools to gently dismantle it, makes the book feel compassionate rather than corrective.
One thing I particularly appreciated is how he extends this conversation into our personal lives. There’s a chapter where he breaks down how authenticity—or the lack of it—shows up in our relationships. I can say it gave me pause. His advice on transforming personal relationships through conscious dialogue and emotional transparency feels hard-earned. Not just theory, but tested wisdom. And I think for readers who do have even a small circle of support, this book could be genuinely transformative. But here’s the thing: I’m not sure it fully lands for people who feel completely alone. There’s an implicit assumption that readers have someone—anyone—to go on this journey with. And I imagine that might make some parts of the book feel a bit unreachable for the truly isolated. If there’s a blind spot in the work, I’d say that’s it.
Still, that doesn't take away from the impact the book had on me. I walked away feeling like I’d just had an uncomfortably honest conversation—with myself. *The Unfakeable Code®* isn’t a guidebook you breeze through; it’s a companion you wrestle with. And maybe that’s why it’s stuck with me. It asks more from you than most self-help books, but it also gives something rare in return: a language for parts of yourself you didn’t know needed naming. For all its intensity, it never feels preachy. Just real. And for that reason, I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
There’s something quietly sobering about *The Unfakeable Code®*. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t storm in with a loud manifesto—he disarms you with honesty. From the very first chapters, it’s clear this isn’t just a book about becoming more authentic; it’s a mirror held up to all the false layers we’ve learned to wear, especially in environments where we’re rewarded for being polished, not real. What struck me personally is how Selimi takes the reader through five distinct principles—he calls them “pathways”—each uncovering a different layer of self-deception. And somehow, as the pages progress, those internalized lies many of us have gotten so good at managing start to feel unbearable. I think that’s part of his point: healing isn’t tidy. It’s inconvenient, raw, and sometimes destabilizing.
One theme I kept circling back to as I read—especially during the sections where Selimi talks about fear-based leadership and workplace dynamics—was how survival mode becomes the standard operating procedure for so many professionals. You know that quiet panic that sits in your chest during Monday meetings? That’s what he means by “scarcity personas.” I’ve seen it play out in colleagues, and admittedly, I’ve caught glimpses of it in myself. Selimi explains how individuals unconsciously wear these survival masks—overachiever, people-pleaser, perfectionist—all in an effort to stay valuable in high-pressure environments. But staying in that mode too long leads to burnout, disengagement, and something he calls “disempowered leadership.” I liked that phrase because it flips the typical corporate language we’re used to. It’s not that people fail to lead—it’s that they’re too emotionally depleted to lead well. I wonder how many managers actually realize this about their teams—or themselves.
Where the book truly shines is in its groundedness. Selimi doesn’t stay abstract or philosophical for long; he brings the concepts home through real stories—his own and those of clients he's coached. There’s one example of a corporate executive who was on the verge of leaving his job because of constant emotional numbness. Through coaching rooted in the book’s principles, he didn't just stick it out—he changed the very way he related to his team and himself. I remember pausing after that chapter thinking, *maybe most of us are just reacting to trauma in a very organized way.* The fact that Selimi doesn’t pathologize this, but rather offers tools to gently dismantle it, makes the book feel compassionate rather than corrective.
One thing I particularly appreciated is how he extends this conversation into our personal lives. There’s a chapter where he breaks down how authenticity—or the lack of it—shows up in our relationships. I can say it gave me pause. His advice on transforming personal relationships through conscious dialogue and emotional transparency feels hard-earned. Not just theory, but tested wisdom. And I think for readers who do have even a small circle of support, this book could be genuinely transformative. But here’s the thing: I’m not sure it fully lands for people who feel completely alone. There’s an implicit assumption that readers have someone—anyone—to go on this journey with. And I imagine that might make some parts of the book feel a bit unreachable for the truly isolated. If there’s a blind spot in the work, I’d say that’s it.
Still, that doesn't take away from the impact the book had on me. I walked away feeling like I’d just had an uncomfortably honest conversation—with myself. *The Unfakeable Code®* isn’t a guidebook you breeze through; it’s a companion you wrestle with. And maybe that’s why it’s stuck with me. It asks more from you than most self-help books, but it also gives something rare in return: a language for parts of yourself you didn’t know needed naming. For all its intensity, it never feels preachy. Just real. And for that reason, I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
