Official Review: The One Percenters by John Podgursky

[Nathrad Sheare]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The One Percenters" by John Podgursky.]

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Meet Edward Pritchard Caine. Edward Pritchard Caine is an American guy with one peculiarity among his peers- He's a serial killer. He has the rifle and rationale and a woman named Darien to prove it- or, well, he thinks he does. He thinks a lot of things. For one, there's the whole idea of the One- Percenters, a philosophy that would make sense mathematically if he stopped calling the rest of the world ninety- EIGHT percenters. I suppose that's just some evidence of the crookedness of his mind. The philosophy is based on the presumption that he's been appointed by a higher power (He finally settles on Nature) to "balance the numbers" of world protectors and world destroyers. This, to him, means shooting all the pleasure seekers, the miserable with money that he meets, in order to increase the percentage of the miserable with zip, the kinds of people who remind him of Jill, his wife, whom he thinks (Why does he do that?) was a victim of another serial murderer. She's the kind of woman who plants seeds on public property to enhance the beauty of her neighbors' surroundings, marries a man in spite of his looks and antisocial tendencies because she loves him, and has a habit of stealing ash trays. In the end, everything boils down to imagination, a desperate psychical attempt to escape the monotony of middle class reality.

There are certainly flaws in this somewhat unconventional narrative. The first chapter is a difficult read, really. The words are many and various, but they don't keep a comfortable pace. There's too little description to make the kidnapping of Edward's key victim at all interesting, and there's definitely not enough to build suspense. The paragraphs aren't linked well. There's no flow. A reader isn't tempted to continue. Then, over the next few chapters, Podgursky rewards perseverance with a dull picture of Edward's life after his wife's "death," appealing to few of the reader's senses as he traverses several date stories and establishes (Oh!) that Edward has decided to lay the details of his life, or what he believes about his life, before a doctor of sorts. This listener is silent throughout the novel and turns out to be... Clarification please? The rest of the narrative is like a lecture with scenes to accompany rather than a study of a character's mentality and behavior in selected settings. I do emphasize the latter because I believe it would have been better to describe the actual plot a bit more, but I'm just an objective reader who feels as if I've been thrown into psychopathy without rhyme or reason. The protagonist doesn't necessarily develop, nor does he graduate from frustrated widower to killer. He just is a murderer, and none of the pages subsequent to the first ten or so explain why. Finally, there's the matter of the ending. It's really just a quick wrap up. I understood Darien was a product of the protagonist's mind after his second encounter with her, but the ending makes her completely obsolete. I was waiting for her further involvement with the protagonist. There is none. Therefore she seems unnecessary. Also, I believe it would have been more strategic and suspenseful for her recogntion of Edward as one of her own to have been based on more than just a look at him.

The subject matter is sweet and sour, and with a few touch- ups in the descriptive passages it really could be delicious. Everybody loves a story told from a darker perception than the norm. Edward's is a heavy shade of grey. That could work.

I will commend Podgursky for the instant thrill he spins in the opening scene. I think there are times when immediacy is entertaining in a dramatic question. It certainly is here. A reader is forced to wonder, "How did it come to this? Why are we here? Is this girl REALLY tied to a tree?!" I love a compelling introduction, and I got one when I first read this.

I have to admit, this wasn't one of the most compelling stories on a fictional serial killer that I've read, neither is it the most exciting of narratives I've encountered that are told from the point of view of a villain, and that he is, or thinks he is. The little piece by his wife, Jill, included at the end of the story, felt, to me, like something thrown into the piece to "make everything better." It made the conclusion seem out of place, actually. Yes, this novel needs polishing. It, however, does show some promise for Podgursky as an author. He has some ideas. He has some style. He just needs to iron them out. A reader should be comfortable in the words of a writer. I hope to see something I can be comfortable with in his future novels. I officially rate "The One Percenters" two out of four stars.

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[ALRyder]

Even though you only rated it two stars this book still looks interesting.

[Nathrad Sheare]

My review is based on my opinion alone, so I'll bet it could be interesting to anybody out there but me. I think more writers just need to get comfortable with the idea of having to complete more than one draft to achieve the desired end.

[ALRyder]

Definitely. I get really frustrated when all someone needed was a good editor. I guess I didn't write my response properly. What I meant was that you did a good job with the review. It shows people who still might enjoy it what it's about, even if you didn't enjoy it yourself.

[Nathrad Sheare]

Oh, of course. I was sure of what you mean and took no offense whatever. I appreciate your supportive words. I love writing, though I'm rather new at the review thing. I'd really like to bump my style up to the next level, so I'll be trying a couple of new things on my next review. You thinking about giving criticism a try? It's kinda fun, actually. Sometimes you just have to get past the reading the book part to get to the good stuff. I really am sorry to say that, but... Honesty may be the best policy, but it's not always a comfortable thing to use in conversation.

[ALRyder]

Haha, oh trust me, I have no problem criticizing. I've written 11 reviews on here, and only two have been 4 stars. I think I am often times harder on books than most. I do find it frustrating when someone rates a book 4 stars, and doesn't give any criticism, and I myself find it subpar. Criticism helps the reader to make an informed decision. If not for that then the site would be useless.

[Nathrad Sheare]

I perfectly well agree. I don't think that a critique is about giving a writer's work two thumbs up when it doesn't deserve it. Bad writing is bad writing, and sometimes a writer needs to know that the reason his or her books aren't selling so well as they could is that their quality needs to be upped a bit. I LOVE tips on my work. I NEED them. Every writer needs tips every now and then. That's a part of the creative process. I like it when whomever I ask for an honest review is truly helpful and not just like, "Oh, I LOVED this piece..." Then I say there's something about it I'm not sure about, and they say, "Well, I was thinking it was a little..." Hmm... Could we have tried that the FIRST TIME?! "But it was really good!" I'm so frustrated with you I'm gonna smack my OWN forehead!

-- 06 Jun 2014, 00:58 --

I perfectly well agree. I don't think that a critique is about giving a writer's work two thumbs up when it doesn't deserve it. Bad writing is bad writing, and sometimes a writer needs to know that the reason his or her books aren't selling so well as they could is that their quality needs to be upped a bit. I LOVE tips on my work. I NEED them. Every writer needs tips every now and then. That's a part of the creative process. I like it when whomever I ask for an honest review is truly helpful and not just like, "Oh, I LOVED this piece..." Then I say there's something about it I'm not sure about, and they say, "Well, I was thinking it was a little..." Hmm... Could we have tried that the FIRST TIME?! "But it was really good!" I'm so frustrated with you I'm gonna smack my OWN forehead!

-- 06 Jun 2014, 00:59 --

I didn't see your reviewer page link there the first time... I think my Internet is screwing up... again...

[ALRyder]

It's not just yours. I have that issue as well on occasion. I think it may have to do with the site.

[ttuso22]

Thank you for this review. It actually made me interested in the story regardless of the two out of four stars.

[Nathrad Sheare]

Thank you, ttuso22. I have to say... Some of the books I've read here have been interesting so far as the plot goes... The writing just needs a little work.

[Timea]

Even if it might be not that well written, a book can still inspire you... at least the plot seems interesting enough, good job with the review

[Nathrad Sheare]

I love this quote by William Faulkner about that:

"Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it.
Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.”

Thanks for the encouragement, Barabas_T. I'm not sure why I've been unable to advance my reviewer's level... Is it about spoilers? What exactly counts as a spoiler??? I'd really like to do this right so I can start earning a little extra change. I'd also like to perfect an aspect of my writing that I haven't had much experience with until now. Any tips?