That Moment

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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StaceyDimes
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That Moment

Post by StaceyDimes »

That Moment

It’s that moment when…
Everything changes forever.
The whole world stops
And there is complete stillness
Complete silence.
Complete nothing.

It feels as if your breath has been taken away
Except for the increased pounding in your chest
It reminds you that you are alive
Living out a moment that has forever changed you
Changed your life, changed your thoughts.

Like a weight sinking deeper on your chest…
The bruising pain of a broken heart.
You’re screaming, but only in your head
To do it aloud would be maddening

Tears pour like water from a faucet
Soaking your face
Your body feels cold, numb
Your senses no longer work
There is only pain
Ripping you apart on the inside.

Your world spins violently out of control.
Nightmares become realities
And nothing else seems real.
You cannot focus
You cannot breathe
You cannot stop it.

Choices leave little solution
No matter what…
The pain will not leave
Only the reason for it will change.
You have forever lost your way…
All because one moment
Changed your forever.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

Nicely done!

With your poem you have captured the essence of a "moment" we have all experienced at least one time in our lives or another. How often have we wished we could relive the last five minutes, hour, or day that we might make an alternative choice, and how bitter is the knowledge that we cannot? How often have we yearned for a peace which has fled us? I think we have all at one time or another, whether by our own doing or chance, been confronted with experiences which evoked pains too deep for normal expression. I think you expressed this well.

Thank you for sharing this with us!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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StaceyDimes
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Post by StaceyDimes »

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
teacher_jane1
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Post by teacher_jane1 »

Stacey, good descriptions in this poem! Did you have a certain rhythm in mind or were you going for more free verse?
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StaceyDimes
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Post by StaceyDimes »

I was going for more free verse. It is typically what happens when I write. That has always been one of my concerns with my poetry - the lack of specific rhythm or pattern.
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janao86
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Post by janao86 »

This was a great poem. I feel that everyone can related to this at some point in their life. I know i have felt like this a few times. I think you have really hit a spot that you can connect to other readers and that is such a key point. You wrote something that will draw in the readers and wanting to read more of what you wrote.Well done
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StaceyDimes
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Post by StaceyDimes »

Thank you for your feedback.
I find it easiest to write about my own emotions and often that is how my poems come to be.. in a moment when I'm experiencing something the words just starting coming.
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Patty_41
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Post by Patty_41 »

Inner feelings, “transformations" - because all that emotions, were well captured, indeed, but I wait all the same a poem in which the hope could overcome life's challenges, taking place of the deep sadness…
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Tchrjokes456
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Post by Tchrjokes456 »

The beauty of this poem is in its ability to be interpreted based on the reader's perceptions and experiences. Most readers will relate to that one defining moment, but I am also curious about what that moment was for you as the poet. The free verse form does not detract from the emotion in any way. Realistically, when we feel something so intense as a life-changing moment, it is not structured or rhythmic. Thank you for sharing.
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