Official Review: My Life, My Soul by Ivette Attaud

[laurelinarien]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "My Life, My Soul" by Ivette Attaud.]

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2 out of 4 stars

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Attaud's book straddles the genres of memoir and self-help. The first of a two-part series, Attaud chronicles her relationship with her former husband, an Army sergeant in Fort Bragg, who consistently abused her throughout their marriage. The abuse was both verbal and physical, leading up to a huge tragedy that finally propelled her to leave him.

The book begins by describing their first meeting and the development of their relationship. This took place in the early 1980s, and younger readers might find the dating landscape and norms rather unfamiliar. Furthermore, the author was a Jehovah's Witness and her adherence to this faith shaped some of her reactions to abuse that not all readers could immediately identify with. Nonetheless, the normalcy of Attaud's first encounters with her abusive former husband and her struggle to find equilibrium in an increasingly volatile relationship may have some resonance with readers who face similar issues.

Unfortunately, since the book is written from hindsight, Attaud's understandable anger towards her former husband and her knowledge of the outcome of their relationship colors her depiction even of their early days. Her former husband, Victor, is consistently portrayed as an unstable narcissist who lost no opportunity to make her life miserable - from taking her money to fund a wedding that wasn't, to strangling her while she was pregnant to having affairs - Victor comes across as someone without redeeming qualities. The reader is left with no clue or insight into why he turned out that way. While this is not a work of fiction and Attaud's experiences should not be invalidated in any way, as a reader, I do wonder about what she is not or is unable to tell. Without some introspection into the couple's relationship and the dynamics of abuse, it becomes difficult to stay with the narrative as it moves into a litany of horrible, abusive actions perpetrated by a man who remains as a ghastly cipher from beginning to end.

Attaud's experience was also marked by profound isolation. Her mother tooks her husband's side and wished for her daughter to be a good wife, in accordance to her interpretation of the Bible. This meant that she frequently sought to prevent Attaud from leaving. Attaud also had very few friends and those that she had, could not help her. Attaud emphasised her friendless state frequently in the narrative and her conviction that it was possible to thrive without help from family and friends. Yet, there are professional channels available and it might have been more construtive to list down the resources available, so that other people in similar situations can access this.

Overall, the book is a decent read if a reader seeks to understand the author's stand on abusive relationships. It does stop at the most interesting part; just as a she had escaped her husband and tried to move in. It will be interesting to see where the next volume goes, hopefully more towards self-help rather than memoir.

Rating: 2 out of 4

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My Life, My Soul
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Like laurelinarien's review? Post a comment saying so!

[Tanaya]

Unfortunately, since the book is written from hindsight, Attaud's understandable anger towards her former husband and her knowledge of the outcome of their relationship colors her depiction even of their early days.

The reader is left with no clue or insight into why he turned out that way.

You brought up a lot of good points in this review. Very constructive.

[Cee-Jay Aurinko]

Thanks for a wonderful review, Laurelinarian. Perhaps the next installment will be a great improvement.