Snap Black-and-White Judgments (Book: I Love Brock Turner)

[sometimes]

Sexual assault is sexual assault. And that is IT.

My feelings are with the victim. TOTALLY. Regardless of this comment.

But since it seems to have degenerated into a philosophical debate. Which I thought it was anyway.

If one COULD go back in time and keep the content of this book.

And just change the title to: "Perhaps we should forgive?"

The opening "statement" may have moderated certain people's minds. Or would it have done so?

A ridiculous question to the forum?

[Gravy]

I was pleasantly surprised to find this available to read on site (thank you, @"Scott", for making it so easily accessible for all of us here).

I have to say I agree with many of the points, though I feel that "love" isn't the best word for it. After all, people hurt those they love all the time.
Personally, I believe that, in most situations, respect is more important than love.

But I'm also one of those people who've had someone who loved them cause them harm.

I've also found that it's easier to forgive harm when you respect the one who harmed you enough to see what was behind it.

Love is blind is awfully true, and can make it difficult to see the person for who they really are.

But that's just my opinion

[ALynnPowers]

I downloaded this book and it took me a few days to read it. I felt that I had to process it as I went and didn't want to absorb it in one sitting. I must say it took me until halfway through the book to allow my mind to be open to what I was reading and truly accept it. Do I agree with everything that was written? No. Do I love Brock Turner? No. But there is more in this book, in the message, than just that. I had a hard time allowing myself to find that message but I am happy I did.

I am a survivor. It has been years since it happened and I still live with the trauma of it. To say I love the person that did it makes me sick to my stomach. This is why I was so hesitant to read the book, and as other people did as well, I downloaded it just for the donation. Once I did read it though I must say I absolutely am enthralled by different aspects of what Scott Hughes had to say.

It's hard for us to not carry black and white judgement. This book DOES NOT excuse what Brock did but I believe it builds a different light among the horrific situation. Hate. That is the one word I can pull from this book and say that this message surrounds. How easy it is for us to hate. To make public statements on social media about horrific people such as Brock. To make claims to what we would do to him or what we think would be justifiable punishment. To sit in our social circles and degrade and defile these people as if they deserve our time and attention. They don't and never will. Have I done it? Yes. Will I do it again? Probably. Should I? No.

Hate and anger are some of the easiest emotions to turn to. They fuel us and fire us to make stands against certain situations. As much as I used to allow my hate to take over when I see things like this, I can say I have taken something from this book to allow myself to turn my hate into something else. It won't be easy and I can say I will still carry anger and hate for people like Brock, but I feel what Scott was trying to say is I, we, the world, need to use that energy from the hate that consumes us and do good. Help those that are helpless. Donate, volunteer, make public statements about violence prevention agencies instead of stating what violence we would do to those people who we feel deserve it.

Will I always hate my abuser? Yes. Will I ever say I love him? No. Can Scott Hughes? Yes. Am I okay with that? Sure. To each their own. I see where he is coming from but no I cannot love everyone how he does. I wish I could, but I know because of my own experiences I probably will never. On that note though I feel he has made a solid point. Those that judge before reading this are unfair and don't deserve their reviews to be read by others.

Let's focus our attention on those that need our love out in the world. Not focus our attention on those who we feel deserve our hate.

I was just scanning down the page and something about your post caught my eye ... can't say what it was... but I don't usually read any posts except the first (couple?) and maybe the last couple to see if anything has changed in the development of general topic since the original post, and well... in my long-winded way, I guess I am trying to say that normally I wouldn't have read your post just because of how it happened to be positioned on the page when I came across this thread... but I read it, and I must say, your words are very beautiful. I think that this is exactly what Scott was hoping that someone, anyone (preferable more, but even just 1 is progress enough) would take away this exact message.

I'm so glad I accidentally read your post. Hahaha.

[Vermont Reviews]

Scott,

It is too bad that amazon took your book off of the site. This is something that we all need to think about.

Vermont Reviews

[mgolvach]

Am I correct. Did this book actually get banned by Amazon because of negative reviews? Or did they just not read it and assumed that it encouraged rape?

That's the scariest part (of the book's story, anyway)

, Mike

[gaporter]

I downloaded the booklet the first day because of the donation, but I had no intention of actually reading it until I saw the email about how it was banned. I knew that it was supposed to be about love and the title was purposefully misleading, but I still didn't want to read it.

I read it this afternoon, though. My opinion has already been stated a few times down thread, more or less. I understand the message and I agree to an extent. But the original title and cover... I understand "don't judge a book by it's cover" but in this case, I did. The title and cover were very insensitive. It's taking advantage of sensationalized news and used for shock value to attract attention. The message may be wonderful, but it still seems insensitive at best and exploitative of a young woman's trauma at worst. This young woman has to live the rest of her life with everybody in America knowing her story while she tries to heal. An exploitative title and cover shouldn't be necessary to pull attention to your book. The ideas should be able to stand on their own without sensationalizing them. The message of the booklet is relevant to this news story and so it's fair to base this on Brock Turner... but I think more thought and sensitivity should have been applied.

[Gravy]

I downloaded the booklet the first day because of the donation, but I had no intention of actually reading it until I saw the email about how it was banned. I knew that it was supposed to be about love and the title was purposefully misleading, but I still didn't want to read it.

I read it this afternoon, though. My opinion has already been stated a few times down thread, more or less. I understand the message and I agree to an extent. But the original title and cover... I understand "don't judge a book by it's cover" but in this case, I did. The title and cover were very insensitive. It's taking advantage of sensationalized news and used for shock value to attract attention. The message may be wonderful, but it still seems insensitive at best and exploitative of a young woman's trauma at worst. This young woman has to live the rest of her life with everybody in America knowing her story while she tries to heal. An exploitative title and cover shouldn't be necessary to pull attention to your book. The ideas should be able to stand on their own without sensationalizing them. The message of the booklet is relevant to this news story and so it's fair to base this on Brock Turner... but I think more thought and sensitivity should have been applied.

I have to agree with that, to a certain extent
I also believe it would've reached more people, and done more good, in the long run.

[L_Therese]

I read the booklet and left a review on Amazon. Since it was under the original title, it no longer appears, but I looked it up on my account and will paste it here:

The spirit of this book seems to be well-intended. We do have a culture and a media that turns easily to demonization, and it is healthy to step back and say that "X" did something horrible but he/she/they is still a person. However, as a victim of a sexual assault (not rape), at some points it felt like the author was letting perpetrators of sex crimes off the hook a little too easily, i.e., equating prison time with mere vengeance. Intellectually, I think I know that the author's real intention was not to make excuses, but this is a very emotionally-involved topic for a lot of people, including me. The book's substance was pretty dry on the whole - more lecture than anything else.

I didn't care for the book, but the underlying message is still valid, and I don't think it's right that Amazon banned it.

[bookowlie]

I read the booklet and left a review on Amazon. Since it was under the original title, it no longer appears, but I looked it up on my account and will paste it here:

The spirit of this book seems to be well-intended. We do have a culture and a media that turns easily to demonization, and it is healthy to step back and say that "X" did something horrible but he/she/they is still a person. However, as a victim of a sexual assault (not rape), at some points it felt like the author was letting perpetrators of sex crimes off the hook a little too easily, i.e., equating prison time with mere vengeance. Intellectually, I think I know that the author's real intention was not to make excuses, but this is a very emotionally-involved topic for a lot of people, including me. The book's substance was pretty dry on the whole - more lecture than anything else.

I didn't care for the book, but the underlying message is still valid, and I don't think it's right that Amazon banned it.

Well said.

[purplepeepleeater]

So I finished the book (actually a while ago, but have been busy) I see what it is you are saying. In our world hate has taken over as the emotion of the century. The bible says that we should love our neighbor whether we like them or not. I agree with that and try to live my life in that fashion. Now I am not saying that this should excuse anyone's behavior including Brock Turner, in fact I do feel that he should get the full punishment that he is due, what he did was horrible and that girl has to live with it the rest of her life. People should be punished for their wrongdoings, held accountable, but it can be done without hate. Your book got me to start thinking and others too, it's a start. Thinking and talking. I do think though you might have reached more if you had a different title. Thanks Scott!!

[Perpetual]

Though I have not read your book because am new here,but I think it's very unfair for people to write a negative review about what they have not read.some persons gave their judgement base on the title of the book without even opening the book,which I think is very wrong.

[Esies98]

I finished the book yesterday and gotta say I liked it very much, it took me less than half hour to complete it and felt pretty good after It, It maked me thing about love in a way I had never before think about , I know I could never love the way the author explains in this book, love (not just tolerate) every person in the world no matter what they have done or how they have hurt you seems impossible, no one could possibly love a person who is determinate to hurt you or the person you love, but I'm young and maybe not the proper person to talk about love, P.S:I agree with sometimes, the book should have had a different title

-- 25 Jun 2016, 18:53 --

I finished the book yesterday and gotta say I liked it very much, it took me less than half hour to complete it and felt pretty good after It, It maked me thing about love in a way I had never before think about , I know I could never love the way the author explains in this book, love (not just tolerate) every person in the world no matter what they have done or how they have hurt you seems impossible, no one could possibly love a person who is determinate to hurt you or the person you love, but I'm young and maybe not the proper person to talk about love, P.S:I agree with sometimes, the book should have had a different title

[ALynnPowers]

Can I just say that I find it funny that some of the reviews (not here, but on Amazon before they were removed) criticized the book for being too "preachy" ... I found it to be just the opposite...

[katiesquilts]

Can I just say that I find it funny that some of the reviews (not here, but on Amazon before they were removed) criticized the book for being too "preachy" ... I found it to be just the opposite...

I think people will say anything they don't want to hear is "preachy."

[Jyak]

I personally wasn't able to take advantage of the offer of the booklet, but I agree that people shouldn't have rated it on the title alone. Even though I personally do not like the idea of the message (love not hate) in certain scenarios. All be it, you titled a book very controversially in lieu of a recent tragedy. That obviously will bring hate and negative reviews. The message in the book as well (shown in the above post by DarthMandy) might hurt and not help people dealing with similar issues or scenarios either. So, while the idea of donating to charity was great. You made the title and topic a little too controversial to avoid a bunch of hate.

Yes, I know I am late on this post, but internet issues made me think I previously did.