View on relationships

Cjgarland89 · Post by **Cjgarland89** » 04 Jul 2017, 09:29

Having been in Nadia's situation I definitely side with her. Abhaive relationships are toxic and it can only hurt the kids and show them what a relationship shouldn't be instead of the opposite.

gali · Post by **gali** » 04 Jul 2017, 10:07

Cjgarland89 wrote:Having been in Nadia's situation I definitely side with her. Abhaive relationships are toxic and it can only hurt the kids and show them what a relationship shouldn't be instead of the opposite.

I am sorry to hear that you were. I agree that abusive relationships can hurt the kids.

MrsCatInTheHat · Post by **MrsCatInTheHat** » 04 Jul 2017, 15:19

ULLAVU wrote:As long as you started a relationship to the extend of having children, its better to withstand the abusive relation for the sake of children and try to mend it for the better future

-- 02 Jul 2017, 07:46 --

No matter how bad things are, you've got what it takes to make it better. You are smarter, stronger and healthier than you realize. Believe in yourself, and never ever give up on you! Both for your sake and that of a child you have to withstand an abusive relationship,

It is not good for kids to witness abuse from one parent to another. Ever. It is far better for the abused to leave & take the kids.

-- 04 Jul 2017, 16:21 --

godreaujea wrote:I think that if a relationship is unhealthy in any manner, it should be ended, especially if children are involved. Children are extremely impressionable, and they should not be raised to believe that being abused, or simply unhappy, in a relationship is normal or acceptable.

I agree with you on this one. I do think that if it's unhappiness, though, the parents should first work to make sure there aren't outside factors that they can work through. Sometimes that love is still there, hidden by stress.

Nthabeleng · Post by **Nthabeleng** » 04 Jul 2017, 17:20

I'm with Nadia on this one. When you are unhappy your children will also be unhappy so staying in an abusive relationship is abusing your children indirectly.

IsabelMay · Post by **IsabelMay** » 05 Jul 2017, 01:32

I believe it's best to leave an abusive relationship. It doesn't matter whether you have children or not, it's not good neither for you nor for the children as it only gets worse with time. Even though people can change, it's improbable so it's a good idea to leave before the child gets hurt.

gali · Post by **gali** » 05 Jul 2017, 01:51

Indeed, it's best to leave an abusive relationship. It may be difficult to leave such a relationship, but one should do that for the sake of the kids, if not for you.

Natters42122124 · Post by **Natters42122124** » 05 Jul 2017, 12:54

Although its a hard decision to make I would have to think about the kid more than anything just because I'm so selfless.

Yoli García · Post by **Yoli García** » 05 Jul 2017, 15:10

I believe I support Nadia's perspective because if children see their mother or father tolerating abuse, then they might tolerate that same kind of abuse from other people as adults. That being said, it might depend on the situation. I think couples might have problems that they can work on with professionals. Problem is sometimes not even professionals can help fix relationships, as it was the case of Yaser's marriage. When a relationship reaches the point of no return, I think it is better to part ways.

Christina Rose · Post by **Christina Rose** » 06 Jul 2017, 01:45

I think it's important not to remain in an abusive relationship, especially when there are children involved. I also understand that these relationships aren't always easy to get out of, so it's important not to condemn someone who isn't leaving as quickly as you think he or she should.
As far as an unfulfilling relationship goes, I think it really depends on that particular situation and relationship. If there's no love left, for example, then you're not going to be able to fix anything, and your children will see how unhappy you are. But, when there's love, it's worth it to at least try … but, not for your children. You have to do it for yourself and your spouse. It is my opinion that you should not get married because you have a child together, and you shouldn't stay unhappily married for your children. Marriage is definitely worth working on, but you should work on it for yourselves, no one else (not even your kids).

Eman Frasy · Post by **Eman Frasy** » 06 Jul 2017, 02:15

I am on the side of Elias, because in the Eastern world, after marriage, the life is entirely focused on upbringing of the kids, fulfilling their wishes and sacrificing for them on each and every step of life.

Aohanlon86 · Post by **Aohanlon86** » 06 Jul 2017, 03:54

AliceofX wrote:I think their situations are too different to compare because abuse is not the same as neglect. That said I'd probably say Yaser's side. My parents split up when I was about 10 or 11, and there are just no words to explain the pain that comes from a broken home.

I understand the broken home. my parent divorced when I was 12. Were your parent happier separated? then they were together?

-- 06 Jul 2017, 04:00 --

My parents divorced when I was 12. my dad was always mad and angry, my mother always sad while they were together. once they divorced and got a way from each other. they slowly became happier in their lives apart. yes splitting time between the 2 of them was difficult. but the time I got with my dad was happier then it was when he lived with us. same for my mom

as for the unfulfilling relationship. I personally was in one and tried for the longest time, but there was no love there just sadness. We ended up divorced and we get along better as friends and the kids see us happier now then we were before. they see their dad a lot and are happy with my new husband and their baby sister.

Maria joraimah · Post by **Maria joraimah** » 06 Jul 2017, 05:13

You cannot get anything from an abusive relationship. The more you try to let it pass you by the more unhappy you will be. If you already did everything possible that would end the abuses and nothing ever really happened, I guess it's about time to let go. As for the children, it ain't gonna be healthy anyway for them to grow up exposed to abuses in the family. Children should be surrounded with love and values. Not hatred and disrespect.

Leonidas Ndeta · Post by **Leonidas Ndeta** » 06 Jul 2017, 05:46

Both, because for you to stay in an abusive relationship there must be a main reason just like Yaser he stays in the marriage because of the kids but then Nadia quits because the traditions of undermining a woman in the side of her ex-husband makes her sick. We are all equal and if someone denies you your rights then you have the freedom to quit the abusive relationship.

MNCEDISI · Post by **MNCEDISI** » 06 Jul 2017, 07:11

I believe a healthy relationship should satisfy both parties. Children cannot be a reason for an individual to stay in a relationship as I would term that "a forced relationship". Its either issues are resolved allowing people to live a harmonious life or people part ways. I am aware of the fact that people panic over the welfare of kids as to how the separation will affect them. It is actually better for kids to stay in a healthy and conducive environment and a home where the parents are fighting can never be the one. Therefore I agree with Nadia on this issue.

pskyrol · Post by **pskyrol** » 06 Jul 2017, 08:06

in my opinion it is not worth to sacrifice your happiness under someone who does not value you.

-- 06 Jul 2017, 08:06 --

in my opinion it is not worth to sacrifice your happiness under someone who does not value you.